"M.O.P.S. in Space" - Chapter Eleven

M.O.P.S. in Space

Chapter Eleven

By Douglas E. Gogerty

The MOPS members minus Angus looked around the area of the arena for a while for their missing friend, but they were unable to locate him. With their lack of success, they decided to return to the nearby café.

They took a seat with a view of the street so they would be able to see Angus if he should happen by. After a few moments at the table, the waiter came by. He asked Victor if he wanted a nuthin form 'e', but wisely, Victor declined. Instead, he and Kelly had soda pops. Tommy had a gin and tonic, what else?

Half the night was gone, and the men sitting at the café table saw the individual from the day before who had the Hello Kitty™ t-shirt on. This evening, she was wearing a neon pink mini-skirt looking item plus something from the Cute Overload t-shirt collection.

Following close behind this individual was Angus looking a little bleary eyed. He was shaking his hand from the terrible pain that he was experiencing from scribbling for the past 6 hours or so.

The young individual who Angus was following passed by the MOPS members, and they watched he, she, or it pass. This individual was definitely not human, but the way he, she or it walked was mesmerizing. Several individuals were caught up in the spell she wove as she walked by, including the MOPS members.

What could be described as a smile and a wink, she gave those to the MOPS members sitting at the café table. Perhaps in keeping with the color changing abilities of the individuals on this planet, each of them shifted slightly redder.

"You won't believe this," started Angus.

"What?" the other MOPS members replied in unison.

"I was saving some cookies and sandwiches and doughnuts for you guys," Angus replied "but someone swiped them."

"That was us," responded Tommy. "Would you like something to drink, Mr. Teen Idol?"

"I hear they serve a killer nothing for me here," added Kelly.

"Could we get you some jellybeans?" asked Victor.

"Huh?" asked Angus with a very confused look upon his face.

"What are you talking about?" asked Tommy looking at Victor with his head slightly cocked.

"It was a joke," replied Victor.

"You misunderstand the term joke," chided Kelly. "People are supposed to laugh at humorous statements known as jokes. If you did not notice, none of us laughed."

"Where did that come from anyway?" asked Angus.

"People used to throw jellybeans at the Beatles," explained Victor.

"They did?" asked Tommy.

"And this is common knowledge?" asked Kelly.

"Well..." muttered Victor.

"You see," began Kelly "for something to be in consideration for a joke, everyone hearing the joke must understand the context. If no one understands the context, it just would not be funny."

"Take my wife, please," added Angus.²¹

"Now cut that out!" replied Kelly in his best Jack Benny voice.²²

"Why don't you guys use references from this century?" asked Tommy. "What happened to Paul McCartney and the Beatles in the sixties is bad enough, but you guys are predating that!"

"You mean Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?" laughed Angus.²³

"I heard that if you play Sergeant Pepper's backwards you'll hear We buried Paul," joked Kelly.

"So are you trying to tell me the Paul McCartney of Wings is not *the* Paul McCartney of The Beatles?" asked Angus.

"He is walking barefoot across the street on Abby Road," replied Kelly.

"Definitive proof!" exclaimed Angus. "You've convinced me!"

"Jesus! Would you two give it a rest?" asked Tommy.

"I'm a Kern," responded Kelly. "I'm dressed as a Sixteenth Century Irish foot soldier."

"Right," responded Angus. "That is why he has that fake Irish accent."

"Ugh, I could use another drink," sighed Tommy.

"Make it two my good man," Angus replied with a wink and a slap on the shoulder.

"Then what'll you have?" asked Tommy.

"Ha!" replied Angus. "That's the spirit."

"Take my wife, please...," muttered Victor.

"Very funny," replied Kelly without the slightest smirk.

Angus and Tommy each ordered a gin and tonic and Kelly had another soda. Victor was going to say nothing for me, but caught himself. He then almost said I'm fine, but was worried about what ramifications that would have. Thus, he just put his hand over his glass and shook his head. He was still worried that that gesture might be misconstrued.

The reunited group sat and drank their drinks and watched the passersby. They saw their friend in the hot pink mini-skirt looking thing and waved. They decided to call her or him or it the Hello Kitty™ girl. Assuming that this individual was female made them more secure in their masculinity. They discussed following "her" but decided against it. They felt someone might deem it creepy -- especially the Hello Kitty™ girl.

They rested a while, and then Tommy said, "Where are we going to spend the night?"

"What is wrong with right here?" asked Angus still watching the Hello Kitty™ girl.

"We need to get back to the convention center," insisted Victor.

"There is plenty of time for that," insisted Angus still watching the Hello Kitty™ girl window shop.

"Tomorrow is the last full day," explained Victor. "The day after that, they pack their things and go."

"Where did you hear this?" asked Kelly.

"Someone told me," muttered Victor.

"Someone?" asked Tommy.

"I'm a little fuzzy on who... Or, is it whom?" mumbled Victor.

"Your make-out partner perhaps?" enquired Tommy.

"You were awfully drunk," insisted Angus.

"Never mind!" huffed Victor as he turned away from the group.

"No go on," insisted Kelly. "You were saying?"

"If they have a day for setup in which non-vendors are forbidden, perhaps it is the same for the tear down," reasoned Victor.

"So, what you're saying is," Angus began. "That we need to get into the convention tomorrow to make sure we catch our ride home."

"Yes," Victor said with a self-satisfied look upon his face.

"Seems reasonable," replied Angus. "I can lead us back there."

"Are you sure?" asked Kelly.

"Absolutely," asserted Angus.

Angus flagged down the waiter and handed him some paper. The waiter was surprised. He attempted to give some back, but Angus would not take any back. He then got up to leave.

"What was that about?" asked Kelly.

"I tipped our waiter," replied Angus.

"Tipped?" asked Tommy.

"You don't think I would work that arena thing for free do you?" replied Angus.

"Very good then," replied Kelly. "Lead on, McDuff!"²⁴

"It's MacScot," retorted Angus.

"Just go!" insisted Tommy.

Angus led them to the restaurant where they had eaten the previous day. They were about to go in when someone grabbed Kelly and said, "Ich bin ein berliner!"²⁵ Before anyone could do anything, a very blue individual had Kelly in shackles and led him away.

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NOTES:

21: A cultural reference to a Henny Youngman joke. It is often used out of context, but people still sort of understand the joke.

22: A cultural reference to something comedian Jack Benny often said.

23: Sir Paul McCartney, for the youngsters, was in The Beatles and then Wings before performing under his own name.

24: A misuse of "lay on, McDuff" from Act V Scene 8 of William Shakespeare's play Macbeth.

25: A cultural reference to a speech by President John F. Kennedy. Translated it means I am a Berliner, but in this context, it probably means something else.