"M.O.P.S. in Space" - Chapter Nine

M.O.P.S. in Space

Chapter Nine

By Douglas E. Gogerty

"How do you know they mean to eat us?" asked Tommy as he looked around their white room.

"How many courses did we eat yesterday that contained meat?" asked Kelly.

"Four -- but that is just a coincidence," insisted Tommy.

"How many passages did he read from the book?" asked Kelly.

"Again it was just a coincidence that there were four passages," asserted Tommy.

"You are not concerned that in some religions they eat their gods?" asked Kelly.

"You are over reacting," Tommy replied.

"Whether he is right or not," interrupted Angus "we should try to get out of here."

"I need to speak to the tree first," Tommy said with a wry smile.

"Not in my store you don't!" exclaimed Angus in his best immigrant grocer voice.¹⁷

The couches that had vanished when the room shrank had now returned. The remaining MOPS members relaxed as Tommy went to take care of his business.

"Hey, the tree is gone..." Tommy noticed as he entered the room off the main room.

"Your last trip probably killed it," joked Angus.

The men sat and let their food digest. After a short while, Tommy returned and said, "You'll probably not want to go in there for a while."

Kelly was going to make a joke but he got a whiff of what Tommy had done in the bathroom. "Man! What crawled up into you and died?"

"I don't think that meat we ate is agreeing with my system," explained Tommy.

"But do they have to fight in our presence?" Angus asked as he also got a smell.

"Somebody please open a window," complained Victor.

"It isn't that bad," laughed Tommy.

"If that outer door is locked, I'm going to break it down," Kelly explained as he ran out.

Kelly found the bathroom door closed, but the smell was clearly emanating from that room. It was very strong in the entryway. He tried the outer door, and the red assistants had not locked it. He rushed out searching for an escape from Tommy's digestive odor. The rest followed.

After rushing down a few hallways, they exited the rear of the building and found themselves in an alleyway.

"I'll lead the way," insisted Angus. "You guys don't know the way back."

Angus led the MOPS members out of the alley and into a busy side street. They took a few turns here and there. They looked around at the scenery.

"Evening is coming on," noted Kelly.

"How late did we sleep?" asked Victor.

"We were up pretty late," insisted Tommy. "We must have slept a long time."

"Perhaps we have some sort of jet lag," Kelly proposed.

"It's possible," remarked Angus. "I once slept for 14 hours after a long plane trip."

"Plus," added Victor, "that ceremony wasn't exactly short."

"It looks like everyone is rushing home," added Kelly.

"Hey, there is where Victor ordered that awful drink," noted Tommy.

"But it did quite the trick on this bucket," Victor remarked showing Tommy the inside of the bucket. "It is nice and shiny clean!"

"Perhaps Angus does know the way back," included Kelly.

"Of course I do," insisted Angus. "Jesus! What was that?"

"I'm a Kern," responded Kelly. "I'm dressed as a Sixteenth Century Irish foot soldier."

"Right," apologized Angus. "That is why you have that fake Irish accent."

"Enough you two!" exclaimed Tommy. "I saw it too. What was it?"

"I didn't see anything," added Victor.

"It looked like a living example of Australopithecus afarensis," replied Angus.

"Thank you Mr. Anthropology Major," Victor said still not knowing what they saw.

"Wait here," insisted Angus running after the thing that he saw.

The remaining men looked at each other trying to determine what they should do. They were not in the mood to go chasing after him, so they did as Angus asked and stayed where they were. They found a nice bench nearby and took a seat.

As Angus ran off, Kelly and Tommy looked at each other. Simultaneously they said, "gin and tonic."

"Wait here," insisted Tommy to Victor as he and Kelly ran to the outdoor café.

Victor asked them as they hurriedly walked away, "Could you get me a..."

"No!" the two said in unison.

The two men took a seat at the café they had visited the previous day. Soon, the waiter appeared with a gin and tonic and a soda. They could see Victor, so if anything happened they could quickly join him.

Meanwhile, Angus chased after what he thought was an ancient ancestor to Homo sapiens. With plenty of other individuals trying to get where they were going, it was often difficult for Angus to see the small creature he was chasing.

He thought he saw his quarry run down a side street, so when he eventually made it to that street, he turned down it. There was a large group of smallish inhabitants of this planet congregated there. You could assume that they were teenagers or pre-teens. In any event, they pointed at Victor and shrieked.

Victor thought the shrill screams would shatter glass in a twelve-block radius, and it stopped him in his tracks. The shouts continued as the crowd slowly advanced to where Angus was standing. He slowly backed away.

The crowd got closer and closer to where Angus stood. Slowly the pace of the advancing crowd picked up. Victor picked up the pace of his retreat. With each speed adjustment Angus made, the crowd also adjusted its speed. They grew closer and closer.

Soon, Angus found himself running away from the crowd of screaming teens and pre-teens. The once crowded streets parted for the chase. Angus ran past the bench where Victor was sitting. He also ran past the café where Tommy and Kelly were enjoying their beverages. He just kept running with the mob screaming behind him.

The remaining MOPS members filed in behind the group of shouting youngsters. Eventually, Angus made a wrong turn. He ran up dead-end alley. Eventually, he reached a wall. He could go no further. The shrieking youngsters slowly approached him. He was trapped.

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NOTES:

17: I Cultural Reference to David Lee Roth's video for Yankee Rose.