"M.O.P.S. in Space" - Chapter Five

M.O.P.S. in Space

Chapter Five

By Douglas E. Gogerty

"I don't know what is sadder," bemoaned Tommy. "Us camping overnight in line in order to enter a comic book convention...."

"Or?" asked Victor fighting a mighty headache.

"Or," continued Tommy "the fact that we're 27th in line."

"We're on a planet far from home where they don't understand anything that we say, and we don't understand anything in their language," complained Victor. "Further, our only way home is inside that building. What would you have us do?"

"I'm hungry," replied Tommy. "We could go find something to eat."

"I could use a bite too," added Kelly. "Besides, it is not like being 35th or even 79th in line is going to prevent us from getting in."

"We just have to keep track of which way we head in order to find our way back," insisted Angus.

"But, we do not know what we can eat and what we cannot." complained Victor. "Further, we would not even know how to order anything if we found a restaurant."

"I could order another gin and tonic," retorted Tommy.

At the mention of the phrase gin and tonic, a mumble went through the crowd. It rolled towards the front of the line and return in a giant roaring wave. Soon, the entire line was shouting gin and tonic and drinking from a single large plastic container.

Eventually, the container made its way to the members of MOPS. The individual in front of them said, "Gin and tonic -- Okay?"

Tommy took the container and replied, "Okay" and took a drink. "Gin and tonic!" he added as he passed the container to Angus.

The crowd replied, "Gin and tonic!"

Angus took a long draw from it, passed it to Kelly, and shouted, "Gin and tonic!"

The crowd replied, "Gin and tonic!"

Kelly put it to his lips but did not drink, passed it to Victor, and shouted, "Gin and tonic!"

The crowd replied, "Gin and tonic!"

Victor took a look at the bottle and made a face. "I'm not drinking from that!"

"Just pretend then," whispered Kelly.

"No," insisted Victor as he passed the bottle back to Tommy.

Tommy took another drink, passed it to the person who had passed him the bottle, and shouted, "Gin and tonic!"

The crowd did not respond. They stood and stared at Victor.

"Gin and tonic -- okay," insisted the man with the bottle as he offered it to Victor.

Victor refused to take the bottle. The once friendly roar of gin and tonic became a mumble of disappointment. At least, that is what it sounded like to the MOPS members. In fact, the quartet began to feel uncomfortable with the stares and mumbles. It seemed as if there was a growing resentment from the crowd.

"Gin and tonic," shouted Tommy but his enthusiasm faded as he finished.

Kelly pointed to the once fizzing bucket in Victor's hands. "He's had too much to drink already," he explained, but the crowd became more restless. "Cannot hold his liquor..."

"Let's get out of here," whispered Tommy.

"Agreed," added Angus as they slipped from the line.

Soon they found themselves running. They do not know what they were running from, but they thought it would be a prudent thing to do. They did not run far because of the items that they were carrying were quite a burden.

They turned onto a street and went a short way up the corner. They stood there and rested a bit.

"Would it have killed you to just play along?" asked Tommy.

Before Victor could reply, Kelly shouted, "Look!"

Kelly was pointing to a very unexpected sight. There was a small group of Japanese tourists walking away from them farther up the street. There was a statue of some important citizen of this world. It had its three of its four arms spread wide. The fourth arm bended and a hand-like appendage touched something that might be considered a chin. It was a very thoughtful pose.

All but one stood in front of a statue. The final member of the tourist party took the photo. "Cheese," they said.

The MOPS members stood their dumbfounded for a moment. They all looked at each other with the "what was that?" look on their faces. After a few more moments, it dawned on them that they might be able to communicate with them. They looked back at the statue, but they were gone.

Kelly, the only one with any energy left after the last run, dashed after them. The rest took a few steps, but running was not a possibility. In a few moments, Kelly reached the statue. He continued running up the road to the next corner. He spotted the group turning another corner further up.

Kelly had a choice, continue to chase after the group of tourists and lose his friends, or wait for his friends to catch up. He thought he would wait for his group to catch up and hope for the best.

The pace of the remaining MOPS members was somewhere between a mosey and a stroll. Clearly, the Japanese tourists were not a priority for them at this point. Thus, Kelly examined the statue more closely. He noted that it was the lower right arm that was touching the bottom part of the individual's face. There was a smugly satisfied expression on the portion of him that was above the hand-like appendage attached to the bent arm.

The engraved plaque at the bottom was completely unintelligible. Kelly had plenty of time to contemplate who he was before the three caught up to him. When they finally reached him, Kelly said, "This way" and he ran to the corner where he had last witnessed the tourists.

Kelly stood there and gaped as the quiet side streets that they had been on erupted into a wellspring of life. He could see individuals rushing hither and yon. There were lights, signs, and a general roar of activity. The Las Vegas strip would be jealous of the hustle and bustle that occurred on the street he had just reached.

He was still standing there agape when the rest caught up. They too marveled at the spectacle that was before them. Slowly, they walked forward. It was as if the scene before them was slowly reeling them in.

Suddenly, not only the sights grabbed them but the smells did as well. Following Tommy's hunger, they found themselves outside of some place. To them, it was clearly an eating establishment of some sort. Warily they entered and the wonderful smell of food enveloped them.

A light-skinned being with very dark clothes approached them. At least, they assumed it was clothes. The MOPS members assumed that this individual was the maître-d'. "Eep Opp Ork Ah Ah," he or she or it stated plainly.⁵

"Ummm -- excuse me Holmes," Angus began. "But we're from out of town and we're lost."

"Noash ett," replied the maître-d'. ⁶

"We don't have any money and we don't speak your language," added Kelly.

"Okay," the maître-d' replied with a disgusted and haughty look upon his, her, or its face.

The maître-d' directed them to a booth near the kitchen. The four anxiously took their seats and waited. After a long wait, someone placed a few dishes upon their table. As a group, they avoided the ones that smelled funky, but devoured the rest. Each had their fill.

After waiting a while, Kelly walked up to the maître-d' and asked, "Okay?"

"Okay," replied the maître-d' in resignation.

He waved to the rest and left the establishment. Upon leaving the place, Kelly headed off. "Where are you going?" asked the rest.

"The way back is this way," Kelly replied.

"No," they all replied. "It is this way."

The three of them pointed in three different directions.

"It's just around the corner," stated Victor as he pointed in the direction he thought it was.

"No, it's this way," insisted Tommy.

"I would hate to be lost in the woods with you guys," retorted Angus. "It is clearly this way."

"You are all wrong," said Kelly. "I'm sure it is this way."

The four had eaten, but now they were hopelessly lost. They did not know which direction their only hope of getting home was located. They were in serious trouble. Good thing Victor still had his bucket because he threw up in it.

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NOTES:

5: In Jetson's alien language it means "I love you" but clearly it means something else in this situation.

6: Cultural reference to a line in the movie National Lampoon's Vacation