"The Maltese Sparrow" - Chapter Ten

The Maltese Sparrow

Chapter Ten

By Douglas E. Gogerty

Boy, do I love eating! I guess if you ask anyone that knows me, they will tell you it is true. It is too bad that whenever I am on the job, my eating become erratic. Thus, after Detective D'Cheuer left me, Maxine walked up.

"How is it going wingtip?" she asked.

She had a sorrowful look upon her face, so I told her, "I am getting close."

"My eyes are down here," she replied.

"Please... join me," I insisted.

"Why? Are you coming apart?" she asked but did not laugh.

Unfortunately, I laughed hysterically.

"How can you laugh at a time like this?" she asked.

"I am sorry, but I love that joke!" I laughed.

"Daniel Butler is dead! 2m@3R&t4jJnsp^82jioljidf348lll is missing..."

"Who? Who is missing?" I asked attempting to suppress a chuckle.

"The waiter here."

"Oh! You mean Marty."

"Yes," she sobbed as she sat at my table and began eating my food.

At that point I stopped laughing. "Take it easy," I asserted.

"What is this? It is delicious."

"That is my fermented goose liver smoothie," I replied as I started to sob.

"I wish I had tried it earlier."

"You know -- the last person to eat my food died a short time later because of poisoned food."

"Is that so?" she asked without stopping.

"Yes. Daniel Butler."

"That is a sad thing," she said after she drank more of my smoothie.

"You know it is against the law to have an earth bird here," I stated sternly to change the subject.

"Your human laws do not apply to us," she retorted after more of my food.

"I had not thought of that."

As she finished up she asked, "Did you say you were close to solving my case?"

"Yes, I am close," I sobbed.

Once my plate was clean, she did not fall over or anything. She simply smiled and wiped her mouth off with a napkin. "Thanks for the food and the conversation," she said as she arose. "I do feel better now."

She left me there hungry and with an empty plate. Shortly afterwards, the waiter, who was not Marty, gave me the check. It is times like that where I am in a less than agreeable mood about my career path choice.

I paid the bill and decided to get a sandwich on the run. If I am moving, no one can take my food from me. Unless, of course, I run in to a pair of enormous Maltese blue tits. I would think twice about giving them my food, but I think in that circumstance I would relinquish my sustenance.

I ate my sandwich and went over the facts of this case. First, we had a missing bird -- the Maltese sparrow. It was not a jewel encrusted bird coated in enamel to hide the fact that it is very valuable, but a living bird. Supposedly Manny, part of the hotel staff where the bird lived, could communicate with her. However, the owner was willing to pay large amount of money to get her back.

Second, we had a dead Larsentient who died in my office. He was the brother of the now missing waiter. I had heard he had some sort of relationship with the owner of the missing bird. Also, the dead man may have been involved in the smuggling of illegal birds onto our world.

Third, there was the trafficker Daniel Butler. He gave the bird to my client. He thought he had a relationship with my client, but she denies it. Perhaps he was spurned and took his gift back. However, before I could make the joke that the Butler did it he died. I do not understand that joke, but it is an ancient joke in mystery stories, and when possible it must be used. However, Mr. Butler was poisoned from eating my food, and while not a joke, it served him right.

Finnally, there was the aforementioned missing waiter. While he had a steady job, he may have been involved with his brother's nefarious activities. He knew my client, and by his disappearance, must be involved somehow.

How they all fit together was still a mystery. It was a jumble of incidents that somehow involved a missing bird. I needed to put the puzzle together in order to find said bird and resolve the case. I had just spoken with Maxine, and that left the only other person who knew anything about the bird -- Manny. I should go see him.

I went without a much needed nap to to Maxine's hotel. Since it had worked on several occasions before, I just went into the staff lounge. I waited. I sat there for quite some time. Manny had never left me waiting this long before.

After quite a long wait, a security guard entered and said, "Dis room is for da hotel staff only."

"I am here to see Manny," I replied coolly.

"I don'ts knows any Mannys. Yous'll have ta leave."

"But..."

"Save it fer da funny papers Mac. Yous is leavin' now."

The huge security guard grabbed me by the collar and lifted me out of my chair. He threw me over his shoulder like I was a rag doll and carried me out of the hotel. He casually chucked me into the tube and said, "Staff only means staff only!"

I got up and walked towards the door, but the mountain of a man would not move. He glared at me with a pair of dark beady eyes. I thought about challenging his authority, but I decided against it. I grabbed a wingtip and headed to the next tube.

I walked into the next facility and asked to use the phone. They looked at me like I was crazy. On this planet, if you wanted to talk to someone you had to walk to where that person was and speak to him or her face to face. They were serious about us not getting fat.

Thus, I grabbed a wingtip and headed back. The behemoth of a guard had left the doorway, so I shyly walked into the building. Carefully looking around for the guard and as casually as I could, I went to the front desk.

"Could I speak to Manny?" I asked the attendant.

"Manny? Oh, he is on vacation. He will not be back for about a week."

Manny was gone too? With the security guard's voice sounding familiar, something happened. That is when all the pieces to the puzzle fell into place. I knew everything about the case. I knew what happened to the bird, and what happened to the now dead people. I just had to gather everyone up, and present my case.