"M.O.P.S. in Space" - Chapter Thirteen

M.O.P.S. in Space

Chapter Thirteen

By Douglas E. Gogerty

Apparently, hulk smash translated from the native local language means -- top bunk. It was clear that this large green individual was much too large to cram into the more restricted lower bunk. Once again, Kelly decided not to challenge this request and let the bulky alien climb up to the upper bunk.

The enormous alien grunted some thanks and cried him, her, or itself to sleep. The weeping that eventually turned to snoring kept Kelly awake for a while, but he eventually managed to get to sleep. After all, it was late, and it had been a long day.

The remaining MOPS members stretched out on the benches in the waiting room. However, before they nodded off to dream world, Hello Kitty™ girl left the secure area and walked over to them.

"Hello boys," she said softly to the MOPS members.

Angus suppressed a Hello Nurse!!!³⁰ and replied, "Hi."

The Tommy and Victor also greeted the English-speaking alien.

"Do you guys have somewhere to sleep?" she asked.

"We were just going to sleep here," admitted Tommy.

"That will not do," Hello Kitty™ girl replied. "I have plenty of room at my apartment. You can sleep there."

"Great!" replied Angus quickly.

The group gathered their things and followed Hello Kitty™ girl to her place. For a college student it was a quite spacious one-bedroom apartment. She decorated it in a style similar to 20th Century modern that some humans like so well. It was neat and uncluttered with a distinct lack of ornamentation and with straight clean-cut lines.

Tommy claimed a daybed for his resting spot. Angus found a chair to his liking and declared it his for the night.

"I guess that means you get to sleep with me," Hello Kitty™ girl said to Victor.

Tommy and Angus gaped at the suggestion, and with a little bit of envy. Victor turned 17 shades of red. He pointed to a rug with a colorful geometric pattern and stuttered that it would be fine.

"Suit yourself," she replied as she took off the shirt she was wearing. Tommy and Angus joined Victor in various shades of red.

Despite their varying degrees of comfort, all of the MOPS members slept well that night. However, early in the morning, a guard awakened Kelly and his roommate. Some words were exchanged which Kelly could not understand. The incredible hulk of an individual hugged Kelly firmly and left the cell.

To Kelly, it seemed that his released cellmate hummed "Old Man River" as he left.³¹ The guard closed the door, and Kelly sank back to his lower bunk. He tried to go back to sleep, but the now silent room was too eerie to allow him to relax. Kelly just rested there waiting for the next thing to happen.

The other MOPS members got to sleep later, but eventually Hello Kitty™ girl awoke them. She disappeared into a room, and they heard water running. She immerged wearing a neon-lime-green mini-esque skirt and a white t-shirt with some sort of strange but very cute cartoon animal on it.

"You guys can get cleaned up in there," she said as she walked into the room where the men were sleeping. "I will see what I can do about some food."

The MOPS members had spent the last several days in the same clothes. Thus, there was only so much they could do to clean up.

Each member took their time in the small room with the tree immerging from a hole in the corner. When Tommy exited the room, he proclaimed, "No one will want to go in there for a while."

"Oh man," cried Angus. "I sure hope we don't get into trouble for illegal dumping of toxic waste!"

"They'll probably tack that on to Kelly's sentence," Victor joked but no one laughed.

"It isn't that bad," proclaimed Tommy.

"I sure hope she doesn't have a toxic gas detector in here, or we're done for," rebuked Angus. "I swear that tree just grew 3 feet and changed colors 5 times."

"Someone call a tree surgeon," Victor joked and still no one laughed.

"I am sorry," interrupted Hello Kitty™ girl. "I do not have much human food. I do have some leftover -- what you call pizza -- if you like."

"That would be perfect," Tommy insisted.

However, it was nothing that the MOPS members would recognize as pizza. There was some sort of language problem as what she brought was more like tater-tot casserole. The men were going to be good guests and not going to say anything, but that would be not like Victor.

"Ew!" he cried. "That's not pizza -- that is a Minnesota hotdish. Do you have anything else?"

"I am going to have something similar to Kyuri To Wakame No Sunomono," she replied. "I do not know what it is called in your particular human language."

"I guess I'm not hungry," replied Victor.

"I'll try some," injected Tommy.

Out of a device that was probably equivalent to a refrigerator, she pulled out what looked like a cucumber and seaweed salad. She made two plates and Tommy graciously ate the salad as a side dish for the casserole. Angus had enough hotdish to be satisfied as well. Victor -- went hungry.

Once the dishes were cleaned, the quartet headed to the courthouse. The MOPS members waited in the now familiar waiting room. Hello Kitty™ girl entered the secure area and was ushered into a room where Kelly and the prosecutor were waiting.

The prosecutor said some things to the translator, and the interrogation continued. Hello Kitty™ girl re-translated the charges, but the square dancing in a roundhouse was not there. Apparently, in this charge they used a few euphemisms. These did not translate well. Thus, the new charge was translated to hunting a cougar on public land. She also mentioned something about a small caliber rifle, which did not help any and still did not make any sense.

"I did not do any of those things," insisted Kelly.

"We have witnesses that place you at the scene of each of these events," translated Hello Kitty™ girl. "It is of no use denying it."

"While I may have been at the scene," replied Kelly. "I was not responsible for these acts."

"Are you saying that someone else perpetrated these crimes?"

"Someone else had to."

"So are you admitting you were there?"

"What? -- no!"

"Do you deny that you were the ringleader of a gang that inflicted the public with these crimes?"

"Huh? Gang? What?"

"We will get to the bottom of this when we collect the rest of your gang who goes around calling themselves the Mystic Order of Pumpkin Slayers."

"They are probably in the waiting..." Kelly began before catching himself.

"What? That is quite bold of them hiding here in plain sight -- guard!"

Some words were exchanged between the guard that entered and the prosecutor. Soon, the guard returned bringing the shackled remaining MOPS members into the interview room.

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NOTES:

30: A cultural reference to something Yakko and Wackko Warner of the Animaniacs would say when faced with a beautiful woman.

31: The words go "Tote that barge, and lift that bale -- get a little drunk and you land in jail."