Valentine's Day

The Cat that Saved the World

By Douglas E Gogerty

I could not believe she was gone. The world seemed so empty without her. Every spare moment was taken with thoughts of her. It was if she was haunting me. I felt so alone. It was at its worst at night. I just laid there awake. No matter how tired I became, sleep would not visit me. As the days went past, the world seemed to become a darker and darker place.

After several days of reclining on the bed without sleep visiting once, I took to wandering the streets. I thought that a walk would distract me enough to get some slumber. I had hoped that I would be relaxed and distracted enough to find sleep. I was wrong.

I would pass a person sleeping under a bridge and feel envy. With their troubles, they still managed to put it aside for sleep. I thought that perhaps I should drink until I passed out. Only then would I get some rest. However, the morning would come and I would have to function. I could not bare a hangover. Thus, I did not take that route. I just walked through the night awake -- envious of the sleeping world.

Night after night I wandered. I felt like the cat I came across nightly. For several nights the furry black creature avoided me. She was suspicious of anyone stalking though the streets at night.

However, after numerous encounters, we became friends. We were two strangers passing in the night. We had no plans to harm one another. We would just rendezvous on a bench. After a few strokes of her black fur, we would be on our separate ways.

I could feel her bones underneath that black coat. So, prepared to bring my friend some food. I think she appreciated the treats I provided. These encounters were not enough to forget, but it gave me a respite from my ever-present thoughts of the departed.

After a nights sojourn, I would arrive at home at dawn. Sometimes I would think she was there, but of course, she was not. Despite my attempts to forget, she was forever in my thoughts. I showered and headed off to work. Work was another escape. It was mind numbing work, but it kept me distracted.

Naturally, I thought of her on breaks. There was no escape from images of her. When working, my mind was somewhat freed from thoughts of her. However, when I got home the haunting thoughts returned.

I could not rid myself of of her laugh, her smell, her touch. On one particular occasion, I glanced at the calendar. It was Friday the 13th of February. The pangs of loss struck me hard with the upcoming holiday -- the holiday for lovers. This pending occasion was not the day for those of us who were alone. All of the memories of my time with her flooded my thoughts. I remember the previous Valentines Days. An enormous wave of emotions overcame me, and I became more restless than ever before. Everywhere I looked I was reminded of her. I knew that I could not stay in the house. I had to get out.

Being a Friday night, I did not have to work the next day. I could drink until I passed out. However, I would have to brave the couples enjoying themselves out on the town. If I were to drink, I would avoid the popular night spots. I would have to go a little farther afield.

Happy people was something that I thought would break me. I had to avoid those fortunate couples who had each other. Straying from my normal route, I would miss the encounter with the cat. In this mood I was in, I did not want any company. The cat would be find for a day without me.

I did not even want to encounter the sleeping homeless. I was filled with envy of the entire world. They lived in such a happy place, that I could not stand to join them. I would make a turn whenever I would encounter a sound of joy. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts.

After many twists and turns I ended up down by the river. Perhaps the sound of water would clear my head. Perhaps it would be enough to relax me. Being February, the river was frozen solid. There was no sound of rushing water. It was just a cold harsh reality of winter. A cold breeze chilled me to the bone. I gave a brief thought of shelter to protect me from the cold. However, I pressed on.

While down by the river, I discovered a series of caves. I guess I had always known they were there, but I did not give them much thought. These dark places were mostly ignored by the city. They were boarded up to prevent people from entering, but it was never enough. There were occasional reports of some kid was lost in them. There was no chance of that on this frigid winter night.

With every step, my despondence grew. My despair became so great that I did not care what happened to me. All the the fear and apprehension vanished from my normal self. The blackness of my heart matched the blackness of the caves. Thus, I entered.

The darkness of the cave was enhanced by the darkness of the night. I had a small flashlight from my phone. It did not offer much light, but it allowed me to look where I stepped. While I was dressed for the cold winter's walk, I was not prepared for the journey into the caves. Nevertheless, I did not care. I climbed through the dilapidated barricade and wandered the caves.

I had heard that the caves where a catacomb of passages. Because of this, it was easy to get lost in them. Further, you could walk for hours and get deeper and deeper into the bowels of the earth. These thoughts did not push through my thoughts of her. I was undaunted in my journey. In these dark caves, I would unlikely run into anyone. I would have the entire weekend to myself. The idea of being alone with my thoughts drove me deeper into the caverns.

A person of sound mind would have turned back long before I did. The spot I found myself was dark. My phone complained about its failing battery. I shut it off, and the spot must have been as black as any spot on earth. The cool dank air hung heavy in my nose. There was a distinct smell of sulfur. Despite that smell becoming more pronounced, I pressed on. I spared the phone battery as much as I could.

Suddenly, the cool dampness turned to a dry heat. The dark fog lifted and a strange light illuminated the cavern. My phone was no longer needed. I could see enough to avoid tripping. I wondered how the cool air became so strangely warm.

Where was I? I did not know, but I had entered someplace strange. This particular cavern had a strange red-yellow glow that emanated from some mysterious place. I glanced around as the hellish smell washed over me. I looked back and noticed that I had crossed a rune on the ground.

I was at the entrance of large cavern with no other apparent exits. It appeared that I was at a dead end. It did not look like I could go any further. I would have to turn back. However, this place caught my eye.

Where was I going to go? There was no sense in turning back immediately. I decided to explore this strange place. As I looked around, I noticed some strange glowing marks upon the walls. I studied these glowing red runes. Whatever they meant to indicate was completely lost upon me. They simply did not mean anything to me. I had no idea what language it was, or who had placed them there. It seemed strange that anyone came in this deep.

I began to appreciate the warmth as I explored the cavern closely. The more I looked the larger this cavern became. It was as if the cavern held a small city. No, it was a large city. It seemed to expand as I looked around. Every corner led to another part of the cavern -- and more city. As I wandered around, I felt that this city was enormous. I did not know there could be such a city below the one in which I lived. This city's streets were as numerous as the caverns I just traversed.

Everywhere I looked, there were strange runes. However, not unexpectedly, there were no people walking about these streets. At least, I did not see any people. On occasion, I did hear disembodied voices. I could not quite make out what they were saying. I tried to follow where they came from, but they would vanish and come from another direction.

Welcome to Riley? I thought to myself. Is this town called Riley?

I kept trying to find where the voice was coming from, but I seemed to simply chase shadows. I did not see any people in this city. I could not locate where these voices came from and which direction I should travel. I just heard the voices saying things that barely entered my consciousness.

Bring the Necrinomicon to the temple, I thought I heard in a raspy wispy voice.

Were these voices in my head? It seemed strange for them to be in English when the runes clearly were not. Where had I heard the name Necrinomicon before? Why did this voice want it? I wondered where the temple was. I continued to walk and look about the city. I turned a corner, and somehow knew that the temple was on this high spot in the cave. I had never been in this place. How would I know where the temple was? My fragile mind led me on.

Kahlua awaits! I thought I heard.

I began to doubt the shadowy voice. It did not make any sense to me. What was it saying? Was it just my mind playing trick on me? Was it just echoes from the city above? It was saying such strange things.

Nevertheless, I entered the temple. Visions of a great evil flashed through my head. This was a temple for one of the great old ones. I do not know how I knew this, but I found myself in a temple of the elder gods! The pieces began to take shape.

I was not in Riley, I was in R'lyeh. Chthulu awaits -- not Kahlua. I needed to chant from the Necrinomicon in order to summon the great god. I felt my sorrow wash over me. My great adventure came to an end. It was time to turn back. I did not know how long it had been since I thought of her. The search of the city completely distracted me. Suddenly, the lonely restless nights washed over me. I nearly toppled over in grief.

At that moment the earth shook. One of the elder gods could feel my pain. It reached out to me. It grabbed at me and shook me. I knew the words! I did not need the book.

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" I shouted.

Without her, I wanted the world to burn. A tsunami of pain and anger rushed back to me.

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" I shouted again.

The sorrow I felt for the homeless people living under the bridge. It was not fair. The world deserves better.

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" I shouted a third time.

The earth began to tremble. The roar was deafening. I could feel my mind slipping into the madness of power. I looked forward to the world burning. There was not a single thing on this earth worth saving. I could think was let it crumble into dust.

However, the cat that I had befriended came to my mind. The innocent creature had comforted me on several of my walks.

"Go away pitiful creature!" I shouted.

The madness continued to grow. The insane power grew within me. I could feel the entire world shake beneath my feet. I could feel the emense power flow through my entire being. Despite my concentration on the destruction of the world, the cat kept breaking into my thoughts.

The words, which once came easily, they would not come. It was a struggle to speak. The kindness of the cat fought against the spell.

The world was not fair. The innocent always suffer for the sins of the evil. The world deserved destruction. The world deserved destruction. The world deserved destruction.

My resolve wained. Sure, humanity has its problems. There is pain and suffering in the world. However, it is a much gentler place than it was just 50 years ago. Where were these thoughts coming from? I could feel the madness and my razor-thin sanity fight.

"She was gone!" I shouted.

I felt that the world should pay simply because of that fact.

"Not everything is about you!" I retorted. "The world should not pay because you are alone!"

"The pain and suffering can end tonight," I said as my resolve began to break down.

"What about the good things?" I asked.

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu..." I shouted but caught myself as I looked down.

The cat had followed me into the caves. Rubbing against my leg, it seemed to say, "What are you doing? Where is my treat?"

I realized that I was taking my pain and transferring it to the world. Should I take my pain out on the world? What of all the happy people? Perhaps, happiness will come to me again. The world should not suffer because of one coincidental day. Good thoughts of her flooded my brain. I almost saw myself walking hand-in-hand with her.

I could not bear to see all of the happy lovers in a mangled heap because of me. With the summoning one of the old ones, I could destroy the good with the bad. My anger, fear, and all my negative emotions drained from me. I felt at peace for the first time in weeks. I grabbed the cat and began stroking her.

"Good kitty," I whispered and the cat purred.

I heard a bell chime midnight. It was Valentine's Day. I smiled. I collapsed on the steps of the temple. I slept. For the first time in a long time I slept. I do not know if I moved. I just slept. It was a long hard sleep. Nothing could disturb me from it.

"Biblical Law And Ministerial Enforcement" - Part Two

Freedom First and others have initiated the Fifth annual "Blog Against Theocracy" event. I am interupting Reunited... this week and next to participate in this blogswarm. I hope the story I wrote is very fitting for this weekend's event. For more information on other blogs participating click on the logo. Thanks and enjoy! (As always, comments welcome!)

---

Biblical Law And Ministerial Enforcement

Part Two

By Douglas E. Gogerty

The evidence was stacking up against Perry. There were records of him breaking every one of the 10 Commandments. He did not know what to do.

"To err is human, to forgive divine," Perry stated.

"That is Alexander Pope. It is not in the Bible."

"So what do I have to do?"

"According to our records, you have broken all 10 of the commandments."

"That is bad."

"Have you taken a kid of the goats, a female without blemish, to your priest?"

"What? No! Why?"

"Have you not read your Bible?"

"Of course! We read it regularly."

"Then you should be familiar with Leviticus 4:27-35"

"Oh yes, I am, but I am not too good with numbers. Refresh my memory."

"And if any one of the common people sin through ignorance, while he doeth somewhat against any of the commandments of the LORD concerning things which ought not to be done, and be guilty; Or if his sin, which he hath sinned, come to his knowledge: then he shall bring his offering, a kid of the goats, a female without blemish, for his sin which he hath sinned. And he shall lay his hand upon the head of the sin offering, and slay the sin offering in the place of the burnt offering. And the priest shall take of the blood thereof with his finger, and put it upon the horns of the altar of burnt offering, and shall pour out all the blood thereof at the bottom of the altar. And he shall take away all the fat thereof, as the fat is taken away from off the sacrifice of peace offerings; and the priest shall burn it upon the altar for a sweet savour unto the LORD; and the priest shall make an atonement for him, and it shall be forgiven him. And if he bring a lamb for a sin offering, he shall bring it a female without blemish. And he shall lay his hand upon the head of the sin offering, and slay it for a sin offering in the place where they kill the burnt offering. And the priest shall take of the blood of the sin offering with his finger, and put it upon the horns of the altar of burnt offering, and shall pour out all the blood thereof at the bottom of the altar: And he shall take away all the fat thereof, as the fat of the lamb is taken away from the sacrifice of the peace offerings; and the priest shall burn them upon the altar, according to the offerings made by fire unto the LORD: and the priest shall make an atonement for his sin that he hath committed, and it shall be forgiven him."

"Oh!" replied Perry. "That sounds like a Jewish thing. I am a Christian."

"So, what have you done for your forgiveness?"

"I have prayed to our Lord Jesus Christ and ask for his forgiveness."

"And you believe that is enough?"

"Of course."

"Are you sure you have read your Bible?"

"Sir, that is an insult!"

"Among other verses there is Matthew 6:14-15. I will state it: For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

"The people down the block."

"Among others."

"They did turn our Johnny onto the homosexual lifestyle with their gay agenda!"

"We are well aware of the situation. What is your point?"

"If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."

"Go on..."

"What?"

"Did you put your son to death?"

"No. Of course not."

"But you firmly believe that this Bible verse is important."

"Naturally."

"You are sitting there in a wool shirt and denim jeans, and you find this Bible verse important."

"Why does what I am wearing have any bearing?"

"Leviticus 19:19?"

"Ummmm..."

"Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woolen come upon thee."

"Goooo -- That is crazy!"

"Where did you go on your anniversary?"

"My wife and I love Red Lobster."

"Leviticus 11 -- And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you."

"No lobster?"

"And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be cloven-footed, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.

"Which means?"

"You are to find pork unclean and are forbidden from eating it."

"Again, you are getting into all of this Jewish stuff."

"This is the book of Leviticus."

"So?"

"Do you not know that your quote is also from Leviticus."

"It is? Oh yes. I knew that."

"Why do you ignore all of the other commands in that book, but one?"

"I don't eat ravens? That's in there right?"

"Leviticus 11:15"

"I knew it!"

"I stand corrected. Why do you ignore most of the prohibitions in Leviticus but find chapter 20 verse 13 to be very important?"

"Is that the man lying with another man thing?"

"Yes."

"I hate knowing that Johnny -- my son -- is an abomination unto God."

"But you do not think twice about lobster or pork being likewise revolting to God -- according to Leviticus."

"No."

"Or wearing two different types of fabrics."

"No, I am strictly against the gay agenda, and their recruitment of my son."

"What has happened to John that is so terrible? You stated that you did not kill him as the verse instructs."

"He is living with some man in Canada."

"And you have not forgiven him or your neighbors?"

"It is Canada man! With their socialized medicine..."

"Once again, we come to Matthew 7:1-2"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Judge not, that ye be not judged..."

"Right! Right!" Perry interupted. "So, because I judged people like my son and the people down the block based upon Leviticus..."

"That is how you were judged."

"So, not only my transgressions against the 10 Commandments are going to be held against me, but also the laws in Leviticus."

"Exactly."

"So, what are you going to do with me?"

"Stoning."

"For real?"

"It is the prescribed punishment for your trespasses."

"Isn't there constitutional prohibitions against cruel and unusual punishment?"

"Like you ignoring certain passages of certain sections of the Bible, our office is allowed to ignore sections of the Constitution."

"That is not fair!"

"We were not the ones that did away with the separation of church and state."

"That separation of church and state thing is not anywhere in the constitution."

"Like I said, if you wish to ignore certain sections of important documents, so can we."

"All of this is so unfair. Just because I turned in the people who corrupted my Johnny."

"It is true. We would have never investigated you had you not born witness against your neighbor."

"So, you are blaming me for this situation."

"Galations 6:7."

"I am sure."

"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

"I find no comfort in that. Will this stoning hurt?"

"Perhaps a little, but we have developed technology to ease the pain," Mr. Walker said as he pulled an item out of his briefcase.

"What is it?"

"It is the latest in stoning technology."

"It looks like a bullet."

"It is," replied Minister Walker with a little pride. "It is a stone bullet."

"Um -- er -- isn't there anything I can do?"

"I am afraid not. The council has already made its findings."

"Hey!" shouted Perry as an idea came to his head. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone! That is in the Bible somewhere isn't it? It isn't Alexander Pope again I hope."

"John 8:7. Thank you for reminding me. I almost forgot."

"Forgot? Forgot what?"

"My assistant is waiting in the car."

"Assistant?"

"We bring sinless children on these trips. They get to cast the first stones. We have to follow the rules of the Bible."

--- The End ---

"Biblical Law And Ministerial Enforcement" - Part One

Freedom First and others have initiated the Fifth annual "Blog Against Theocracy" event. I am interupting Reunited... this week and next to participate in this blogswarm. I hope the story I wrote is very fitting for this weekend's event. For more information on other blogs participating click on the logo. Thanks and enjoy! (As always, comments welcome!)

---

Biblical Law And Ministerial Enforcement

Part One

By Douglas E. Gogerty

Perry Richards was sitting in his living room watching some TV when there was a knock on his door. When he looked out the window, he expected to see some kids there. They often came to his home raising money for the school, but was surprised to find a man in a suit standing on his porch. The man stood there patiently with a briefcase in his hand. It was rather late in the day for any type of business call.

"Hello? What can I do for you?" he asked after he opened the door.

"I am Minister Scott Walker," the man replied showing Perry some documentation. "Are you Perry Richards?"

"Why -- yes I am. What can I do for you?"

"May I come in?"

"Well..."

"This is rather serious business, and I would rather not do it out here."

"Yes. Of course. Please," Perry replied showing the man into his home.

Perry offered Mr. Walker a chair, and sat on the couch. Mr. Walker placed his brief case on Perry's coffee table and opened it up. He looked over a few documents he removed from the case. After writing some notes down on one of his pads, he spoke.

"Where is your wife?" Minister Walker asked.

"Anita is at a church event. She will be home later."

"That is a bit of an inconvenience, but no matter."

"What is this about?" Perry asked.

"As I stated before my name is Scott Walker. I am a mister with Biblical Law And Ministerial Enforcement."

"Is this about the atheist family down the street?"

"No sir. This is about your infractions."

"My infractions? What are you talking about?"

"It seems that we have quite a list here."

"There must be some sort of mistake. I have faithfully kept all 10 commandments."

"Is that right?"

"Yes. Absolutely."

"What did you do in Iraq?"

"I heard the call of my country."

"That is admirable, but what did you do?"

"What are you getting at?"

"How many people did you kill?"

"I don't know -- a couple perhaps?"

"You do know there are no exceptions for the 10 commandments."

"But..."

"They do not say, Thou shalt not kill, unless your country asks you to.."

"I was just doing my duty."

"You were not even enlisted in the military. You were a private contractor."

"But, I did go to help my country."

"For money."

"Well, they did pay me."

Minister Walker looked at his papers again, and said, "Did you buy a new car last year?"

"Why yes. Yes I did. Is that against the law?"

"Why did you purchase this vehicle?"

"The previous one was getting a bit shabby."

"Is it not true that your neighbors purchased a new car not 3 months prior."

"Well yes."

"Therefore, is it not true that you purchased your car in response to their purchase?"

"I suppose. I guess I was keeping up with the Joneses as they say."

"There you have it. Coveting thy neighbor's goods."

"I can explain..."

"How many times have you seen the movie Sophie's Choice?"

"I don't know. Lots."

"What about Doubt?"

"I have seen that one a bunch of times."

"Out of Africa?"

"Many times."

"Why have you repeatedly viewed these movies?"

"I love Meryl Streep..."

"You know she is married."

"Let me finish. I love Meryl Streep's movies."

"You can lie to yourself all you wish Mr. Perry. However, I know when a man is coveting another man's wife."

"But..."

"Mr. Perry, where do you spend the first week of August?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Where do you spend the first week of August?"

"Since you know so much, you probably know full well that I spend that week camping with my brother."

"And, of those many camping trips, how many of them include a trip to church?"

"Well -- there isn't a church nearby..."

"Is that how you Observe the Sabbath day and keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you?"

"Come on!"

"I am sorry that these commandments pose such an inconvenience to you."

"God dammit! That isn't right."

"Using the Lord's name in vein -- I will add that to the list."

"Hey! that isn't fair. We are not working on those days in the woods. They are still days of rest."

"In the past 8 years, what have you done between Thanksgiving and Christmas?"

"Those have been brutal. Most of the time I work the entire time without -- a -- day off..."

"Is that how you observe the sabbath day and keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you?"

"But if I didn't I might lose my job!"

"I see. Your job is more important than your immortal soul."

"But...but..."

"When was the last time you called your parents?"

"Wwhat does that have to do with anything?"

"When?"

"I guess it has been a couple of months."

"Eight!"

"It could be 8."

"Is that how you honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you?

"Now just a minute...."

"Mr. Perry, in a few short minutes I have demonstrated that you have broken 6 commandments."

"This isn't fair."

"You mentioned the atheist family down the block."

"Yes?"

"Sir, you know darn well that they are Episcopalian."

"That is the same thing."

"And so you are baring false witness against thy neighbor."

"I never..."

"Miss Jennifer Sandford," stated Mr. Walker looking at one of his notes.

"God Ddddd..."

"So, Mr. Perry. When you said you keep the ten commandments, which ones did you mean?"

"I have never stolen anything or ki -- never stolen anything."

"Shall I go on?"

"Now just a minute. I was just a kid when I stole that candy bar. That doesn't count right?"

"Mr. Perry, what is the most important thing in your life."

"Well -- God of course!"

"What have you tirelessly worked for? You even risked life and limb by going to Iraq to acquire it?"

"Uhhh..."

"Further, what have you tirelessly fought to keep?"

"Are you talking about money here?"

"Sir, our records show that you have done everything in your power to keep as much of your income as possible."

"Darn right! I work hard for a living. The money I make is mine!"

"You see sir, in our interpretation, money has become your false idol."

"What? No, I do not put money above God!"

"Do I need to remind you about the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas?"

"That is crazy?"

"Not according to the council at Biblical Law And Ministerial Enforcement."

"Well -- but... Why are you singling me out?"

"Matthew 7:1-2"

"Pardon me?"

"Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."

"It is about the atheist -- er -- Episcopalians down the street isn't it?"

"Because of the judgment you passed upon them, you are being judged."

"The Cursed Clown Sweater of Constitution"

Wil Wheaton and Scalzi of Johnstown

In

The Cursed Clown Sweater of Constitution

By Douglas E. Gogerty

John Scalzi and
Wil Wheaton
organized a Fan Fiction Contest to Benefit the Lupus Alliance of America.
The target of this contest was to create a story which would describie the picture below.
Naturally, I took part, and this is that story. Enjoy!

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who lived in the great kingdom of Maplevania. In this kingdom, there was a long-standing tradition of naming the first daughter after a great-grandmother of the parent's choosing. Sadly, because of the great plague of 4211, most of the first-born daughters had only two names to choose from -- Hortense and Dorcas. Thus, Princess Hortense was the loveliest child ever to carry that name.

In fact, Princess Hortense was, by far, the most lovely creature to ever inhabit the kingdom. Men (and even a few women) came from far and wide to court the lovely young lady. However, before the king could choose a suitable mate for his daughter, she was kidnapped. This was not an unusual occurrence in Maplevania as most citizens obtained their spouses through some form of capture. In fact, the beastly orc Scalzi of Johnstown obtained his lovely wife in this manner. We will get to him a little later.

The unusual circumstance around Princess Hortense was that the king actually sought to get his daughter back. He went so far as to offer a reward -- a cash reward. Furthermore, there were no aristocratic restrictions. Hence, any young adventurer who wished to take on the quest was allowed. He (or she) did not need to be member of the aristocracy.

Further, the possibility of marrying the most beautiful young woman was not out of the question; however, most likely just eternal gratitude from the saved princess was all that could be promised. However, just getting the attention of the most beautiful woman in the kingdom was not enough for most.

For months, there were no takers in the quest to bring back the princess. However, one day a bard and his company were entertaining at the castle. This particular bard spied crude paintings of the princess done by school age children. He was immediately smitten. When he heard of her plight, he decided to see if he could save her from the clutches of whatever villain.

After questioning the staff, one name kept arising. Nearly everyone in the castle believed that the great wizard Douglas abducted Princess Hortense. This wizard was once in the employ of the king. However, a few years ago they had a falling out.

Recently, some objects of this much-maligned wizard were discovered in the castle, and the king demanded that he come and retrieve them. Thus, he was in the castle at the time of the abduction. The wizard Douglas was the most likely suspect.

However, the wizard lived outside the kingdom in the land of Doomville. It was a dreadful place. The surrounding mountains would frequently erupt into massive lava flows. It was a dark and menacing place. It was just the kind of place evil wizards like to call home.

Thus, our heroic bard, Wil of Wheaton, decided to depart for the tower of the great wizard Douglas. However, it was a going to be a long journey and the bard decided he would obtain a party of adventurers. His fellow bards, Paul and Storm, volunteered to join him. However, Wil declined their invitation. After all, a party of bards was surly doomed to failure. Having a bard at all on an adventure was bad enough. The young bard needed adventurers. People with skills.

The only problem with gathering a group of individuals with skills was most of those with actual skills had jobs. Even if they did not have employment, they were generally intelligent enough not to go to a place called Doomville. At the very least, anyone willing to go on such a dangerous journey wanted to get paid. Money was not something a bard had in great abundance. Wil of Wheaton attempted to use his charm and charisma, but he rolled miserably. Thus, after a lengthy search of Maplevania, he only managed to get Savage Adam in his group.

While Savage Adam was a powerful wizard in his own right, no one believed that the two of them would be enough to take on the forces deployed from Doomville. However, no one else from the town would join them. Without being able to convince anyone else to join them, the small party began the arduous journey to Doomville. The pair hoped to pick up some additional adventurers on the way.

The two ended up in Johnstown. While this small village is kind of between Maplevania and Doomville, it is well out of the way. The only reason the two men went there was their propensity for getting distracted by shiny things and cool things they could blow up. They ended up leaving the main road and getting lost.

The pair should have stuck to the main road. Just about anything an adventuring party would need could be found along that route. After all, the only thing Wil of Wheaton had with him was a staff. His armor consisted of a pair of blue shorts and a witty t-shirt. Savage Adam needed very little. After all, he could use a couple of sticks, some dirt, a few choice plants, and some spit to make an impressive explosion. Nonetheless, if trouble arose, they could find themselves in great distress.

As they entered the village, they were confronted by the orc Scalzi of Johnstown. Now, Scalzi was once a kind and gentle creature (for an orc anyway.) However, when his wife and child disappeared, he had grown quite cantankerous. This was the wife we alluded to earlier. The great orc had no hope of doing any better than her. Thus, he was gruff to anyone who stumbled into Johnstown.

Having eaten all of the residents of Johnstown, Scalzi the Orc was not someone a Bard and Wizard should take on alone. This was particularly true with how Wil was equipped. However, what were they to do? They had not been able to recruit any additional people.

Savage Adam made some things explode. This distracted Scalzi enough for Wil to break out his secret weapon. Well, his secret weapon was telling the story about the time he worked with the world-renowned actor Sir Patrick of Stewart. He explained that at the time they worked together he had a fancier cart than Sir Patrick. The story had the desired effect of confusing Scalzi further. In his confusion, a falcon flying overhead also distracted Savage Adam. Hence, the adventuring party inflicted no damage to Scalzi.

Thus, Scalzi could have taken his axe of smiting and chopped the two adventurers into little pieces. Instead, the mighty fighter decided to join the sad duo in their adventure. The distracting tactics would work well to give Scalzi an opportunity to chop whatever they were confronting into little pieces. This, the orc thought, would make the trip a bunch of fun. After all, to an orc, Doomville sounds like the place to be.

Before they would go any further, Scalzi believed that Wil should have better equipment. Thus, Wil obtained a spear of stabbing from Scalzi who obtained it from some adventurer he had eaten. Sadly, there was no decent armor to be had. However, Scalzi knew of a stash of arcane magic items that could be obtained not far from Johnstown.

The party entered the strange and mystical town of Minneapple. However, they did not have any money to purchase items. As any bard would do in this situation, a show was organized. It was scheduled to last for 3 hours, but so much fun was had that, it lasted for five. Even Scalzi performed. After the show was finished, they had managed to raise three copper pieces.

However, a longtime fan of Wil's gave him a present (in exchange for his witty t-shirt.) The fan gave strict instructions that the present was not to be opened inside the town's borders. If it were, it would inflict a curse upon the recipient. The fan did ensure Wil that the item would protect him with its magical properties. Needless to say, Wil wanted to open the present immediately. He did not want to wait.

In his way was Savage Adam. His bloody nose notwithstanding, Adam did not wish to leave. The wizard fell in love with the town. This put great strain on Wil, who could not stand the suspense of the unopened gift. Adam could not be moved. The pair argued, but Adam refused to budge. Wil begged and pleaded to no avail.

Wil explained that they would not make it over the mountains without Adam's help. Thus, Adam conjured up a mount for the pair. It was supposed to be a pegasus for them to ride above the clouds. However, a last minute distraction altered the spell. Thus, Savage Adam conjured up a unicorn pegasus kitten as their mount.

Wil of Wheaton and Scalzi of Johnstown bid a fond farewell to Savage Adam as the flew off on their unicorn pegasus kitten towards Doomville. Wil was once again unable to procure more help, even for three copper pieces.

The flight over the mountains to Doomville was uneventful. The pair of adventurers landed just outside of the city limits. Scalzi immediately dismounted the mighty steed. However, Wil remained on the unicorn pegasus kitten, and there Wil opened up his gift. To his surprise, it was the Cursed Clown Sweater of Constitution. It was such a thoughtful gift, that Wil immediately put it on.

Immediately, Scalzi noticed a change in Wil. It was as if the affable Wil had become an evil twin. With the beard, no one could notice if a goatee had magically appeared on Wil's face. Suddenly, Wil wanted the princess all to himself. He would let nothing stand in his way -- not even his orc friend. The two began arguing. This quickly escalated into actual combat. Immediately, Scalzi knew that Wil had opened the present early, and received the curse of the garment. However, the only thing he could do was fight the enraged bard who was wearing the clown sweater and riding the unicorn pegasus kitten.

Meanwhile, Princess Hortense and the great wizard Douglas held a quiet civil marriage ceremony at the Doomville city hall. The reception was held at the Doomville Ski Resort and Lodge, which had a great view of the surrounding erupting mountains. This event will be remembered forever afterwards for the spectacle of the orc and bard fighting. In fact, Douglas and Hortense commissioned a painting of the fight. It now hangs in a place of honor in the happy couple's tower. No one knows what happened to the combatants; but naturally, Douglas and Hortense lived happily ever after.

Freedom First and others have initiated the Fourth annual "Blog Against Theocracy" event. I am interupting Reunited... this week to participate in this blogswarm. I hope the story I wrote is very fitting for this weekend's event. For more information on other blogs participating click on the logo to the right. Thanks and enjoy! (As always, comments welcome!)

---

The Tale of the Puritan

By Douglas E. Gogerty

With the efforts of Dr. Daniel C. Hever and his team, several groups learned how to revive long dead individuals. Of course, there were some caveats. The bodies had to be mostly intact. That is, the process would not work on decapitated individuals. Further, there was an issue of shock. If the last thing they remember is bursting into flames, they generally could not take the shock of being revived. These individuals would immediately go into cardiac arrest, and revert to their dead state.

The revival of individuals from historic periods shed light on many events of the past. Sadly, badly decomposed specimens could only be cloned, and these individuals would not retain the memories of the original. Hence, this technique was most useful in learning about more northern cultures where the propensity for freezing was much higher. If the Egyptians did not remove the organs of their dead, ancient mummies could have also been revived. Removing the brain through the nose caused catastrophic damage to the organ. Again, mostly northern peoples benefited from this revival technique.

Roger Chillingworth was a Puritan from the 17th Century England. He briefly settled in the Netherlands, but then took his family aboard a Dutch colony ship headed for the Americas. Sadly for him, but fortunately for others he never made it to the New World. His body was discovered centuries later when the permafrost of Greenland, where he had been entombed, had significantly melted.

The team of scientists followed the Hever Protocol in their revival. Mr. Chillingworth was revived in a nondescript room to allow him to acclimatize to his new environment. All attempts were made to make him believe that he had fallen asleep, and the team simply awakened him a short time later.

The following is a transcript between Mr. Ghillingworth and the noted antropological researcher Dr. David R. MacDonald:

"Good Morning Mr. Chillingworth."

"Prithee, where am I?"

"You are in a New England hospital."

"Egads! Oh! pardon me."

"It is quite all right. What do you remember?"

"A great lot of Spanish Pirates!"

"Yes the La Cazadora."

"If thine purpose to tell me it is true, I will not doubt."

"What do you remember about them?"

"Yon brigands set me a-sail."

"In the boat we found you in..."

"Again, I will not doubt."

"What else do you remember?"

"Thine speach is strange... May I ask who thine art?"

"I am Doctor David MacDonald."

"A Scot of Irish decent - no doubt? I will converse no longer."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Thee have beliefs that I find distasteful. Now, if you please take myself to me wife."

"How do you know what my beliefs are?"

"You deny not that thou art a Scot. Thus, thou must follow liberal Anglican beliefs. None of our people were Scottish. Alternatively, thou could be of Catholic persuasion -- a far lesser belief. Now, if you please...."

"How can you be sure?"

"Prithee ask such questions?"

"If your assertions were true, we would still both be Christians. Thus, our beliefs would not be that different."

"Avast man! Catholics are the lowest form of life -- as that Spanish band of brigands demonstrated by sending me adrift. And Anglicans are scarcely better."

"Your sect is not part of the Church of England?"

"Where hath thou been living?"

"Could you please tell me more about your journey?"

"Egads! Paardon me again. Very well... I verily owe you since thou didth save me."

"Please."

"Thine humble servant left yon barbarity in Amsterdam to find religious freedom in the New World. Great freedoms were promised, as it was a new land. Mine family had felt great oppression from the heathens whom I discussed previously. The new world promised to keep the government and religion separate."

"Pardon?"

"Those Anglican governmental leaders oppressed mine people of faith; hence, our people believe and have always believed that government must be kept separate for those with superior or differing belief systems. Simply put, government cannot be trusted to keep the faith. The twain serve different masters and thus must remain separate."

"But America was founded as a Christian Nation...."

"I know not of this America with which thine have spoken. Nonetheless, when a group of mine people settled at Plymouth Rock they wanted to make sure that Government would not pollute religion and the converse. They wished to escape persecution for our non-mainstream yet more pious beliefs. The only way to accomplish this was to keep everything separate. It is the only way!"

"But what about non-believers -- they do not count right? As long as it is Christian it is okay right?"

"Scotsman you are an odd one. I could not be more plainspoken for thee. In order to ensure that everyone with a belief -- or non-belief -- does not encounter persectution the government must remain free from religious entanglements."

"What about ..."

"Silence! Does thine not have ears? Perhaps your Scottish nature makes you thicker than most. Let me illustrate. Suppose a leader -- perhaps a king or maybe some sort of elected official -- hath some belief -- whether mainstream or not. It can be any belief. Now, those men holding that belief are with the governmental leader. Hence, they can impose said belief on thine that do not hold it, as our people have endured. In this way, persecution for groups that have different beliefs is inevitable. This situation is exactly why we left for the New World."

"So..."

"Unless everyone has exactly the same belief, religion and government are best separated."

"What if where you are now has a theocratic government?"

"Then place me in mine boat, I will put my fate in divine hands."

"You, a religious man, would rather die..."

"Than live under religioius rule? That is unequivocally true."

"Even if it is a Christian Theocracy?"

"As mine people did in England? Thou art thick!"

"So, if I took you in front of a group of people, you would not praise a Christian Nation's Government."

"I cannot be more plain, and thou still have not heard. My people came to this New World to escape religious persecution -- not to inflict it. I do not know what kind of Christianity your people practice -- clearly not a very pious one from what I hear from thou. I grow weary of repeating that religion and government must remain separate. Lest not speak of government again. Taketh me to mine family if thou please."

"I thought for sure you would be on my side on this."

"Studieth thine history closely. No good hath ever come from a mix of religion and government."

"Ralph the Mutant" - Part Three (The Conclusion)

Ralph the Mutant

Part Three (The Conclusion)

By Douglas E. Gogerty

No one knows how they obtained the nuclear weapons. There was plenty of speculation. It is not unheard of that there were entities sympathetic in high governmental positions. Some of these could have access to the material. Who these sympathizers were and how they got the fissionable material out will likely never be known. What is known is that the perpetrators did not expect the results of their actions.

They certainly expected millions to die in the blast. However, I am sure they did not expect the world-wide devastation that they caused. They did not expect billions to die of starvation. They did not expect the following nuclear winter. They did not expect the flu to be such an effective killer. Most of all, they did not expect to be around to witness the misery and suffering they caused.

While the source of the nuclear material will never be known, the perpetrators did come forward. They made an appearance on the show of one of the conservative radio hosts. After that, many people wanted them killed. However, it was almost universally accepted that they would suffer much more if they had to live with the devastation they caused. Nonetheless, they did not live much longer.

Their high tenet of forgiveness was given to them. Although many did not really forgive them, they just thought they would suffer more if they could see what they had done. The thirteen Christians that killed billions were free to live out their lives how ever they saw fit. They could not take it, and to a person they committed suicide.

They all killed themselves when the biggest thing they did not expect was finally revealed. A year after the event, there was only one birth. I am sure there were plenty of people trying, but only one woman successfully gave birth to a healthy baby boy. There were lots of stillborn children. There were lots of babies that were horribly deformed. There was only one baby who was normal. Only one child that survived for long.

With the radioactivity,the high fevers due to the flu, and all of the other stuff, it was discovered that the surviving men were sterile. Every man who came in for a test, was found to be incapable of having a child. The population of the world went from about seven billion people to less than one billion, but it was going to get a lot smaller. If a species cannot conceive offspring, it is doomed.

Hence, a search for the father of this healthy boy began. Travel during the nine months prior to the birth was difficult; thus, geographically it would be relatively easy to eliminate lots of men. However, there were still lots of men in that particular area. Further, that man may have succumb to one of the many causes of death during that period.

Thus, the search was no easy task. The mother did not always get a name or any other information from many of the men she got close to. It was just one of those things. Fear and uncertainty can make you do things that you would not normally do. Thus, sometimes you seek comfort in the arms of others.

Nevertheless, the search became a worldwide phenomenon. The reporting apparatus that was still in place, gave daily updates on the results of the search. It was as if the entire world stopped to see who the father of the child was.

Weeks went by as the search for the man who could still father children continued. Man after man stepped forward to take the simple DNA test. A call to every man in the city went out. As the interest grew, they wanted results fast. The mother definitely did not have sex with every man in the city, but it is obscure enough that anyone who had been with a stranger eight to ten months previously was asked to come in.

The world watched as test after test was given. Thousands of men stopped in to get their cheek swabbed. Whoever was the father would be an instant celebrity. Who was this mystery man? Who was this -- uh -- mutant?

So, I lived in the Minneapolis/Saint Paul International airport for months. Everyone lived in fear, and we did not know if we were ever going to get out of there. When the killer influenza finally made it to the airport, people started coming and going. The large complex became a makeshift hospital. There was space to tend to those ill with the flu, and most of its infrastructure was still intact. Hence, people would bring friends and loved ones to the airport. While they were there, they would seek comfort with other people doing the same thing. Any encounter would make them feel better, and then they would move on.

I know I make it sound like this type of thing occurred regularly. While it did, I was not involved in that many such couplings. Being mostly immune to the ever changing killer flu, I tended to lots of sick people. I was exhausted most of the time after long days of helping sooth the suffering of those people.

Not to mention that few sought comfort in a pudgy, balding middle-aged man. Mostly, I was looked upon as more of a father figure. Things rarely escalated to -- well -- that type of thing. That is why I did not step forward sooner. I did not think there was any way that it was me.

When my DNA was finally tested, it showed that I was the baby's father. An international day of celebration was held shortly afterward. The human race was not doomed to perpetuate the species by artificial means alone. I was celebrated all over the world.

Now, this mutant travels all over the world to father children. I have lost track to the number of children that I have fathered. However, I have been at it so long that my first child -- that boy -- has started fathering children too. The human race should be able to survive now. They should survive all thanks to me -- Ralph the mutant. I saved the world!

"Ralph the Mutant" - Part Two

Ralph the Mutant

Part Two

By Douglas E. Gogerty

Wow, would it be cool to shoot lasers from my eyes. Now that is the kind of mutant that I would want to be. Not that my mutation has not had its advantages. I have met thousands of fantastic people all across the globe. However, there is lots of travel involved. London for a month, and then Shanghai for another month. The mutants from the comics always seemed to stay home most of the time. On the other hand, Gotham City no longer exists, so I guess there is that. In any case, I should get back to the story.

It had been a mild winter. There had not been too much inclement weather around the country. Snowfall had been way down. Apparently, this was a sign of the second coming and had nothing to do with Global Warming. Since it was the holidays, I was flying home to Cincinnati to see my family. I did not give one thought about the two hour layover in Minneapolis. It was in the midst of a long drought there -- again a sign of the apocalypse.

I thought it was my bad luck when we approached the Twin Cities. As we landed at the Minneapolis/Saint Paul International Airport, it was in the midst of a terrible storm. According to locals, it gave the Halloween Storm of 1991 a run for its money. Visibility made the landing difficult, but taking off was out of the question. There was no flying out of there.

To make matters worse, all the interstates coming into and out of the Minneapolis area were closed. If you could get a car, it would be tough traveling anywhere. Not that it mattered because there were no rental cars to be had. Hence, my fellow airline passengers and I were stranded at the Lindbergh terminal on Christmas eve. The storm was getting worse, so the prospects of leaving the airport before New Years Day looked mighty weak.

With my fellow strandees, I found a spot on the floor to stretch out. I intended to get some sleep before the next day's attempt to get home. However, little sleep was to be had. Someone had turned on the news in an effort to see when the storm would subside. This was a mistake. Horrible news was broadcast, and it had nothing to do with the weather. It was even worse than being trapped in the airport on Christmas eve away from family and friends.

The early reports were sketchy. That was because no one close to the incidents had survived. It was only reported that huge mushroom clouds were seen over Los Angeles, New York City, and Chicago. There had been no word from anyone in these cities. All communications were out. No one was sure if it was because of the electro-magnetic pulse from the blasts, which would have disabled all electronic devices, or if it was because everyone was dead.

All of the stranded travelers and I became glued to the television monitors to watch the news for developments. All through the night we watched and waited. Naturally, rumors and accusations were abundant and reported; however, evidence was in short supply. Sadly, these detonations killed millions instantly. Further, we watched as the nuclear fallout effected areas hundreds of miles from ground zero. The weather pattern that kept us from spending Christmas with our family's, drove the blast towards those very homes.

Our families were at risk as the winds brought horrible death to people far away from the targeted cities. Cities within a 300 mile radius of the targeted cities were cordoned off. If we could have left, we would not have been able to go home to Ohio. In any event, we were forbidden to leave the airport for many days following the incident. We watched as city after city was abandoned. Further, with all the upheaval, the communication systems were offline. Our only news was from the television. We could not speak with relatives in affected areas. Thus, we did not know what had happened to our families.

Chaos was the state of affairs for months. Everyone looked for the perpetrators and found them behind every corner. The talk radio personalities, those that survived, continued to feed the fire of hate and suspicion. Riots broke out in places everywhere. Everyone tried to bring vengeance upon the perpetrators.

When it was discovered that American Christian fundamentalist were responsible, everyone was dumbfounded. It was unfathomable that these individuals would escalate from killing the symbols of their unrest, such as abortion doctors and other religious authority figures, to destroying millions of innocent civilians including some that agreed with their position. Further, these extremist did not figure on the events that occurred afterwards.

Many of the plotters lived well away from the targeted cities. However, they believed that vengeance was taken out on the offending cities and that their homes would be spared. Nonetheless, the radioactive fallout continued to spread. The weather took the radioactivity all over the globe. Livestock began dieing in every part of the world. Innocent people everywhere lost their livelihood and their food. Starvation became common everywhere. Hundreds of millions began dieing from the aftermath of the blast from hunger as well as radiation poisoning. If starvation did not kill you, then cancer did.

Then there was the killer flu pandemic. Hundreds of millions more died from that. There simply was no way to prevent its outbreak. Authorities were busy dealing with one situation when the next one came along. It almost became a joke as to what would happen next. Those that expected to disappear with the rapture were shocked to find that they too were left behind. They suffered with the rest of us.

So, there we were spending weeks trapped in the airport. We heard about all the horrors going on outside, but could do little about them. The storm had left three feet of snow on the ground. Nonetheless, with all that was happening, no one bothered clearing the roads. It was not business as usual. Further, the uncertainty made us all afraid to leave the airport. Hence, most of us passengers were in some sort of unintentional quarantine.

However, there was only a limited amount of food. Thus, occasionally someone would leave for supplies. Gradually, we had more exposure to the outside world. Our quarantine was short lived. Our happy little airport family was slowly dipping its collective feet in the waters of the new situation.

The airport worker who brought the flu to us was not a welcome person. Did I mention that I had an unusually strong resistance to the influenza virus? Nearly half of my fellow passengers succumbed to the flu. Before I was sitting and watching the news, suddenly I was tending to the ill. I watched people I had befriended in the intervening weeks die in front of me. Me, I never showed a single symptom. My mutancy was slowly becoming apparent. I had to save the world, but how would I do that?

"Ralph the Mutant" - Part One

Ralph the Mutant

Part One

By Douglas E. Gogerty

My name is Ralph Horatio Logan IV, and I am a mutant. Now, I do not shoot laser beams from my eyes, or have long claws shoot out of my wrists. I cannot even summon giant killer squids from outer space. Nonetheless I am a mutant, and I am saving the human race. I guess I should start at the beginning.

I was born in Cincinnati Ohio to Jennifer and Ralph H. Logan III. (Imagine that!) I am the oldest of three, but I am the only one still living. My siblings died as a result of the event. Because I am a mutant, I survived. That is the nature of being a mutant I guess.

Prior to this event, I led a pretty average life. For most of my life, no one knew I was a mutant. In fact, I did not even know. It is probably because we are all mutants in one form or another. It is just that most of our mutations do not provide a big advantage over everyone else.

For instance, suppose you had a mutation that made you extra immune to the influenza virus. In normal circumstances, this is not going to give you a big advantage over everyone else. It is just going to save you from suffering from the flu. However, ordinarily no one will notice that you have this mutation, and they will not consider you a mutant. On the other hand, if it does give you a big advantage, then that is a different story.

I guess I am saying that if you have a big advantage over others, you can claim that you are a mutant. Otherwise, your mutations are just run of the mill things. They do not give you any noticeable advantages; hence, you are not a mutant like me.

As you may have guessed, the biggest problem I had to overcome in childhood was my name. It is difficult to go around with such a name. It is a family name as you may have noticed. Many people in my situation go by their middle names. This prevents confusion when father and son have the same name. However, Horatio is worse than Ralph. Also, R.H. does not exactly roll off the tongue. Thus, for a majority of my life I went by Four. It is not a great nickname, but it beats the alternatives.

In any event, my childhood was pretty uneventful. So were my junior high days. That is, apart from people making fun of my name. Come to think of it, high school was pretty quiet. I guess so was college, and the time I moved back in with my folks after that. To be honest, my entire life until that day was mostly uneventful.

That is not to say that things did not happen. Once, I saw a guy lying on the side of the road. From what I could make out, he was biking along and he did not see a bar poking out from a parked dump truck. He was not wearing a helmet, and he hit his head and crashed. Wear your helmet kids! He was on the ground when I walked up, and I called 911. Maybe I saved his life. Probably not, but it could be true. Isn't that you want from a superhero tale?

Anyway, like many superheros in comic books, I struggled with regular life. For most of my life, I had to deal with the mundane. I was just like everyone else. I was just waiting for the moment when I could shine. I was waiting for my powers to become evident. I was living my ordinary life until my time in the sun -- so to speak.

Thus, I had a regular, ordinary, boring life for quite a long time. Sometimes, I miss it. Anyway, I went from a fairly unremarkable child into a fairly unremarkable adult. I was a pudgy, balding adult. Alright, that still describes me. No one would have thought that I would be partially responsible for saving the human race. Actually, if you pointed at me and said that I would have to save the world, many people would collapse in despair. Nevertheless, it is true.

After the uneventful events of my early life, the world changed. We can point to the day that it all changed, but it really had been building for quite some time. It was just on one day when the big change occurred. Everything before that day is often referred to as the before time.

Up until the event, people living in the United States worried about nuclear proliferation in other parts of the world. Specifically, they worried about nuclear weapons falling into the hands of religious extremists abroad. There had been attacks on U.S. interests, and many worried about these escalating. These concerns were well founded. There were a great deal of changes to our way of life to prevent these forces from ruining the American way. No one would have suspected what actually happened.

We were winding down a pretty awful year. The economy was terrible. Unemployment was high. There were abandoned houses all over major cities. Everyone was struggling making a living. It was another year of a tough economy.

Despite all that, we had a very popular president. While some called him the anti-Christ, most people laughed this off. It was just unbalanced people blowing off steam. There were some media outlets proclaiming it as a valid point of view, but most thought they were completely harmless. This kind of talk was becoming common for political rivalries.

While the economy was still struggling, it promised to be a Christmas season like all of the rest. It might have been a bit slow, but still of the season. There was the usual talk of the War on Christmas. However, it was completely in the imaginations of a some conservative crazies. You know, the same group that believed the president was the anti-Christ. At least, a majority of Americans did not give any of that talk any serious consideration. In our wildest dreams we would have never thought that there was a group who took this quite seriously. We all thought it was just a way of the talking heads to build ratings. However, it turns out that they were actually feeding a fire.

For several years, there was talk that we were living in the end of times. There were lots of people waiting for the second coming, and they believed the rapture would occur at any moment. Who would have guessed that they would become tired of waiting? No one thought they would actually attempt to bring forth Armageddon. Nevertheless, this is exactly what they did.

Freedom First and others have initiated the Third annual "Blog Against Theocracy" event. I am interupting The Adventures of Gaius Cornelius Ferrarius this week to participate in this blogswarm. I hope the story I wrote is very fitting for this weekend's event. For more information on other blogs participating click on the logo to the right. Thanks and enjoy! (As always, comments welcome!)

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The Trespassers Are No More

By Douglas E. Gogerty

Neocleveland, NO - USA.
By Sami deQuocson
10 Quad, 1666

After centuries of fighting, the enemies of the Theocratic States have finally been defeated. According to government officials the last of the "Trespassers" have been caught. The official cleansing should occur as part of the Easter celebration activities planned. The theocratic government will now concentrate on other internal enemies of the state.

Before the Theocratic government overthrew the democratically elected government, the Trespassers supported the efforts of the theocrats. In fact, they were a powerful force that helped push a change in the former constitution which mandated prayer in the public school system.

After this victory, the two groups continued their alliance as they increased their pressure in other educational areas. However, tensions arose in the teaching of biological sciences. A compromise was reached, but the rift had begun.

When the theocrats eventually overthrew the government, the disagreements widened. Further, the party in power refused to compromise on anything. They believed that God had placed them in a position of power to spread his word. There were to be no doubts about what His words were. Thus, there would be no compromises on anything.

Hence, shortly after the theocrats established their government, the number of disagreements continued to develop. Tensions grew. Eventually these differences erupted into outright hostilities. The internal war had begun.

The Trespassers allied themselves with diverse groups inside and outside the country. The external alliances led to the establishment of great restrictions in travel and communication outside of the country. This had the natural side-effect of the building of the 50 foot border walls. The theocrats did not want any interference from outside forces.

The theocracy completely isolated itself from the remainder of the world. Further, the internal rift over the teaching of biological sciences had a disastrous effect. The teaching of what the theocrats called "Darwinism" was strictly forbidden. In this way, evolution -- the underlying principle of all of the biological sciences -- was off limits.

This restriction devastated all of the biological related fields, which included medicine. Doctors were unable to get the training required to be prepared for any unforeseen circumstances. The theocrats told the medical community to trust in God's will.

Naturally, when a "plague" swept through the country killing more than a third of the population, they called it the will of God. However, this event breathed light into the Trespassers as they allied themselves with the Cult of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The theocrats had several laws relating to religious practice. Thus, the non-believers that wished to remain in the country where they were born were forced to establish a religion. Thus, they established The Cult of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was a relatively small gathering of scientifically minded residents of the Theocratic States.

Since the cult retained its scientific heritage, they managed to remain completely untouched by the disease that killed vast numbers of the theocrats. The Trespassers noticed this fact, and sought aid from them. With help of the cult, the Trespasser's numbers stabilized. They had a brief resurgence. However, it was a short lived reprieve from their eventual destruction.

The theocrats saw the alliance of their two greatest foes as the work of Satan. Furthermore, they asserted that the plague was created by the cult. Hence, they increased their pressure for the destruction of the two groups. While the Cult of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was small, they were quite powerful. They continued to advance in many areas while the rest of the country was caught in stagnation. Thus, they have been decidedly difficult to destroy.

However, the Trespassers shared many of the theocratic tendencies. They continued to educate their children in the backwards theocratic schools. Thus, many of the sciences were completely ignored, or greatly hampered. The reason for this is because these religious groups believed that reason was the greatest enemy that faith has. Therefore, the Trespassers were easier targets for the theocrats and their vast numbers.

After all of the battles and conflicts, the Trespasser's numbers dwindled. While it is not truly known if Western Chever, Jr. is actually the last of the Trespassers, it is the claim of the government officials of the Theocratic States. Thus, we will allow them their celebration. In their traditional Easter celebration, Mr. Chever will be crucified on Good Friday.

With his elimination there will no longer be anyone who says, "...and forgive our trespassers as we forgive those who trespass against us." The passage that gave the group its name. There has been much rejoicing over the end of this dangerous splinter group.

The battle with the "Cult of the Flying Spaghetti Monster" will continue. However, this cult has shown little interest in battling the numerically superior theocrats. Perhaps this will change with the government now being able to concentrate on the scientifically minded cult.

In fact, there has not been a reported death of a cult member at the hands of the government in decades. With a greater concentrated effort, perhaps we shall see if religion can defeat science.

"It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" - Part Two

Bulwer-Lytton Contest Inspired Story

Part Two

By Douglas E. Gogerty

Finding the identity of a headless corpse is like finding a particular blue fin tuna that was caught the day before but was released because it had this scary gash in its side, but your engagement ring was lost and perhaps this tuna got a hold of it and you need to get it back; fortunately, this was not going to be like this because she had her driver's license with her.

It is really hard to match a driver's license photo with a person without a head, but with a record of height and weight and home address there was a place to begin for getting a proper identification of the person although she probably lied about her weight and perhaps even her height because that is what people do, but without the head perhaps they were in the ballpark on the weight.

After a few days of investigation, they were sure it was Mary Ellen since she missed a few days of work, she did not show up at her apartment ,and the fact that her parents positively identified her from a scar on her left side she got as a teenager backing into their 1976 Sea-Island Green Mercury Comet's car door which was slightly rusty, and she had to get a tetanus shot, so they went to a fancy sweater boutique and got her a nice sweater with puppies on it.

Like putting together a Great American Puzzle Factory 550 piece jigsaw puzzle of dogs playing with a football under autumn leaves, the police investigators were beginning to get the picture as to what happened to Mary Ellen, who was the girl who liked a sweater with puppies upon it which was quite ugly in the opinion of all of the police personnel who saw it.

Like in the 15th century when there was an unknown continent between Europe and Asia and some person convinced the Queen of Spain to provide provisions to sail west to get to the east and finds North America which was named after a map maker rather than this Italian sailor, the affair between Sam and Mary Ellen was bound to be discovered by the authorities.

The good cop / bad cop interrogation technique, where one cop acts all friendly with the suspect and the other acts mean, is an effective method for finding out information on criminal suspects but was completely ineffectual on Sam DeLaney because he was so frightened and distraught that all he did was wail like a spoiled child whose parents have decided to not give into the tantrums so the child gets increasingly louder until the parents give in.

The police investigators had more luck with Mrs. Sam DeLaney as she went on and on like the same spoiled child explaining the proper tantrum technique to the kids on the playground and how it worked the time a highly sought after "Tickle-Me Elmo" was obtained, and fortunately for her she had an alibi at the time of the crime because she was at the emergency room of the local hospital with what could be called a bad case of projectile vomiting.

From interviewing some of the individuals Mary Ellen's work, the police discovered the relationship between Easton Leuer and Mary Ellen, and when they went to his place to ask him a few questions, they discovered the shrine of Mary Ellen in one corner of his room where he hung photos taken with his Nikon D-60 digital SLR camera with autofocus 75-300mm zoom lens and printed on his HP Color LaserJet CP1215 and placed in frames purchased at Walmart for $1.99 plus tax.

Like a Parmigiani Fleurier Kalpagraph with a palladium dial, an 18k pink gold face, oblong watch buttons, and a black alligator band with tongue buckle, the case was ticking along very nicely as they already had three suspects and eliminated one who, as the hospital stated, had a very bad case of projectile vomiting, but the other two had motive and opportunity to do the deed but they wanted to follow up on the 1978 Chevrolet Chevette that she was found in.

Following this particular lead was like driving the 1978 two-tone brown Chevrolet Chevette in question on Lombard Street in San Fransisco with the twists, turns and the bumps in the road which became quite a fascinating journey that led to a certain crime family in New Jersey that for reasons of an on-going federal investigation will not be mentioned here.

The Chevette was formerly registered to a William DeLaney Jr. who, with his brother Lester, run a company that forges manhole covers in Piskataway New Jersey, but he had reported the car stolen several years previously and it was a shame because he wanted to give it to his son on his 16th birthday but instead gave him a used slightly rusty 1976 sea-island green Mercury Comet.

When the classic Chevy Chevette was stolen it had 25,672 miles on the odometer and since it only had 5 digits William DeLaney Jr. explained that it had 125,672 miles on the car and since it had 27,411 miles on the odometer at the time it was retrieved from the river it was either driven 1,739 miles or 101,739 miles in the intervening years; thus, the police concluded that the car was driven to Minnesota and parked for when it was needed.

The long term storage led the police to the previously mentioned crime family and also to Mary Ellen's considerable gambling debts which were aggravated when she placed a large bet on the 13 point favored Minnesota Viking against winless Detroit Lions and while the Vikings managed to win, they only won by 2 points and Mary Ellen was unable to come up with the money she owed the said crime family.

With more investigation, both Sam DeLaney and stalker Easton Leuer were cleared from the murder investigation of Mary Ellen as Orlando "The Flamingo" Jackson confessed to the crime as a part of a greater on going federal investigation in exchange for entering the federal witness protection program and testimony against other members of the flamboyant crime family.

* * * * *
The End

"It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" - Part One

Bulwer-Lytton Contest Inspired Story

Part One

First sentence by
Garrison Spik

The rest by
Douglas E. Gogerty

Every year San Jose State University's Department of English & Comparative Literature holds a contest "where WWW means Wretched Writers Welcome". It is a contest in "honor" of Edward George Bulwer-Lytton who was known for writing "It was a dark and stormy night" fiction.

Thus, I have taken the "winner" of this year's contest, and expounded upon it to make a complete story. Enjoy!

* * * * *

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped "Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J."

Which was quite coincidental since his name was Sam DeLaney so his last name was DeLaney, and he was from Piscataway, N.J., but he did not have anything to do with forging manhole covers; in fact, he worked like so many other hard working people in Eden Prairie, MN at one of the many retail outlets, but this one was selling sweaters to high school girls.

Mary Ellen, who with Sam DeLaney made up the couple, purchased a sweater from him with puppies on it that she thought was quite fashionable when she was in high school but that time had long passed and in reality it was never fashionable and now it was threadbare and worn because of the intervening years but it was a memento of their first meeting so she wore it often whenever they got together.

The pair were like a Burlington Northwestern Santa Fe freight train and a Metrolink train in Placentia, CA, at the intersection of Van Buren Street and Orangethorpe Avenue, near the Atwood Junction; they were bound to run into each other eventually, and they did at a convention of sweater wearers sponsored by Sam's store.

Nonetheless, not everyone was a fan of checkered taxi ride burning rubber love; however, not because she lived approximately 1,027 miles from New York City or that she was against east coast elitism, but because she was not the recipient of such love from her husband Sam DeLaney, and that woman was named Samantha DeLaney which caused all kinds of difficulties when the someone asked for Sam DeLaney on the phone.

Just like Isaac Newton's and Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz's independent invention of integral calculus, Sam's and Mary Ellen's affair was bound to be discovered sooner or later, but the pair was hoping for later; however, those hopes were dashed when Sam DeLaney, Sam's wife, came home early from work on a sunny but unseasonably warm autumn afternoon in October with what could be described as a rather bad case of projectile vomiting.

Needless to say, Sam's day was going to get a great deal worse, but in actuality both Samantha's and Samuel's days were going to get worse, but Samantha's day was already going bad with the vomiting and all, where as Samuel's day was going pretty well, what with the rendezvous with his mistress, and the fact that he was not currently selling ugly sweaters to demanding teenage girls.

While the situation was quite embarrassing with the yelling and the vomiting, what made it worse for the two women was that they both had the same sweater with the puppies that they liked so much which made them realize that they had more in common than just the man in their lives, but on the other hand, it could just be that Sam the sweater salesman used the same sweater salesman technique on both women, which was clearly effective.

It was your standard love triangle, it may have been an acute, obtuse, or even a right angled triangle, but the problem is that it was not a triangle at all because there was another person involved making it a love rectangle or at the very least a love quadrangle because the definition depends on the angles, and who knows, it may have been a love pentangle or hexangle or even more people may have been involved as who can ever tell in these types of things.

Easton Leuer, which is pronounced 'lower' not in a lower and deeper voice but as in the word 'lower' such as 'lower level of the parking garage' which is where Easton worked as a parking attendant making sure the basic sports utility vehicles, like the Cadillac Escalades, were not parking in the compact spaces which happened to be a very common occurrence at this garage and was quite a parking hazard to other patrons with these big cars sticking out too far into the isles and using two spaces where the space was designed for one.

Since the early bird gets the worm, Easton believed he could get whatever he wanted because he was up earlier in the morning than just about everybody because he had to be at work before everyone else due to him working at a busy parking garage where so many parked their cars for work, but the thing that Easton never realized was that the early worm gets eaten by the bird; thus, getting what you want because you were early was not necessarily a good thing which perfectly exemplifies his relationship with Mary Ellen.

Easton and Mary Ellen's love was like an invisible six foot white rabbit named Harvey who could only be seen by one person and that person would have to be Easton because Mary Ellen had know idea who Easton was let alone that he had any type of crush upon her, but he was under the impression that they had a very serious relationship from her daily parkings in his garage despite the fact that they had never spoken.

With all of the players set up like characters in a bad detective story where everyone has a motive to kill everyone else, but not all of the motives have been expounded to the audience and not all of the details have been given but nonetheless, the audience is expected to guess the outcome of the whodunit even though no one has actually done anything wrong at this point in the story.

Nevertheless, when a headless women, who was wearing an ugly but remarkably very worn sweater with puppies on it, was found in the Mississippi river occupying a 1978 two-tone brown Chevrolet Chevette with expired New Jersey plates, authorities believed that foul play was involved, but the first order of business was to determine who the occupant of this classic vehicle was and why she was attempting to drive in the Mississippi river.

"The Veterinarian" - Part Three (The End)

The Veterinarian

Part Three (The End)

By Douglas E. Gogerty

"What is that crack suppose to me?" Ben asked me.

"Oh! Nothing," I replied.

"Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"Yes -- please continue..."

"Because I didn't ask for your help, and I don't need your help."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"So, where was I?"

"You were explaining how the voice seemed like it was trying to tune in your brain."

"Right!" responded Ben. "It went on for weeks, and I was beginning to get the feeling that it would never happen. However, one day it was clear as a bell. The voice and I could finally communicate both ways."

"What did the voice say?"

"Patience my friend -- patience -- I'm getting to it."

"Once again, I apologize."

"Naturally, the voice is not a valid name because it occurs completely in my own brain. Hence, at first I asked fairly mundane questions. Things like 'what is your name?', 'where do you live?', and the like. Simple questions allowed my new friend to get a handle on the technology on his end."

"His?" I asked.

"While I don't know if his or her has any meaning where they are, the voice was male in my brain. Thus, I use the masculine. In any event, the name question was more difficult than either of us thought. I still don't have a handle on what his name is. It just goes to show how much culture has an effect upon names. Thus, I called him 'Hank' and he was okay with that. You may have noticed that I spoke aloud to Hank. We found it easier for him to know what I was trying to say by speaking out loud."

"Why was that?"

"Apparently, the area of the brain used for speaking is easier for their technology to reach than if you just think the words. Once the communications problems were mostly ironed out, it was time to get to the meat of the reason he was reaching out to me.

"Hank is the intelligence officer for a mostly peaceful race, who happen to be at war with a particular nasty race. One of the tactics of this warring race is to take advantage of the peaceful nature of Hank's people and attack a neutral third planet. His department discovered that they were going to use this tactic upon our planet."

"Let me get this straight," I interrupted. "There were two races at war, and one of them was going to attack us."

"Right," Ben replied. "In that way, Hank's race would have to allocate resources to help us out. This tactic would work to his enemy's advantage."

"And you believed him?"

"Of course not, but I heard him out. Their enemy has this technology that allows them to enter a planet via a wormhole type technology. They pick a latitude at random and they have to be half way between the equator and the pole. Thus, they have to enter at 45 degrees north or south at the longitude that they select. It just so happens that my parlor is exactly 45 degrees north. Further, according to Hank, it was at their selected latitude."

"So, these aliens were going to invade through some sort of hole in your parlor?" I asked with a great deal of skepticism, but I tried hard not to sound sarcastic.

"That is about how I felt. However, Hank said there was an easy way to stop them."

"The plates?" I asked.

"Yes. There is something in ceramic plates that blocks their matter transference equipment. Further, if we have our shield enabled, when they enable their transference equipment, Hank's people will be able to knock it out. Thus, we won't have anything to worry about after that."

"So, why were you wearing the aluminum foil hat?"

"The plates also block some of his communication abilities; thus, I need some sort of amplification method."

"I guess that makes sense. I do have a question though."

"What is that?"

"Was this your first psychotic episode?"

"You think I'm crazy..."

"Perhaps it is stress, or something more serious. However, you have to realize that this scenario you have just outlined is impossible."

"So, you think it all happened in my head."

"Yes. No aliens. No invasion. None of it."

"So what happens now?"

"I cannot force you into anything, and it is simply my inexperienced opinion. Perhaps there is something behind this. You should see a doctor and get a checkup. Perhaps it is some sort of toxin localized in that room."

"Your localized toxins is just as crazy."

"Yeah, I know. I was just theorizing, but there must be some logical explanation for this."

"And, you think that what I just outlined is illogical."

"Honestly I can't think of any other way to put it," I said as we walked towards the parlor.

"Do you think it is the first step towards Alzheimer's?"

"I wouldn't think of commenting on that," I said taking a plate off the wall and examining it. "You *should* see a doctor, and he or she should be able to determine what is going on."

"I guess there is no harm in that."

"What?" I asked.

"I said -- I guess there is no harm in that."

"I heard that, I mean the other thing."

"I did not say anything else."

"You clearly said something about the plate."

"That wasn't me."

"Stop with your tricks!"

"I'm telling you -- I'm not doing anything."

"If you don't cut it out," I asserted. "I'll break this plate!"

"Honestly, I'm not doing anything," insisted Ben.

"Okay! Okay! Okay!" I screamed. "I'll put it back!"

I replaced the plate, and it stopped. I looked around, and saw Ben looking at me with great concern.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, and so are you."

"What?" he asked.

"It is my expert opinion that you're fine. It'll be all over soon, and we can go on with our lives. You're fine, and I'm fine."

"You now think I do *not* need to see a doctor..."

"Yes. There is nothing wrong with you. Going to a doctor will probably only make things worse."

"Very good."

"Thanks for your time -- and the coffee -- Ben," I told him. "I think I'll be heading home now."

"Thanks for checking up on -- my animals," he replied. "Come back anytime."

I have gone back to see Ben a few times. The plates are now down, and his parlor has returned to normal. Neither of us speak of the incident, we just talk about his animals. I wonder if he saved the world, or if we both had an episode. In any event, that was one of my most interesting cases -- and days.

The End

"The Veterinarian" - Part Two

The Veterinarian

Part Two

By Douglas E. Gogerty

"Who are you and what are you doing in my house?" Ben asked me.

"My name is Robert Adams, I am a veterinarian," I replied.

"And that gives you the right to come into my house?"

"Ummm -- no I guess not. It was just -- er -- uh..."

"Go on, spit it out!"

"Your niece was worried, and she sent me up here to check in -- on -- your animals."

"She was worried about my animals more than me?"

"She did mention that you had been acting strangely."

"And she sent a veterinarian to check up on me?"

"I think she wanted some sort of medical person to check on you. It wouldn't be my first time diagnosing humans, and to be honest, you are wearing a tinfoil hat."

"Actually, it is aluminum foil -- what of it?"

"You know that there have been studies that have determined that such hats may act as an amplifier rather than a shield."

"Naturally, that is why I am wearing it."

"Huh?"

"If it were actually tinfoil, it would block the signal."

"Are you telling me that it was a government cover-up to switch from tin foil to aluminum foil?"

"Are you crazy? Aluminum is much more common than tin, it does not impart a taste upon the food it wraps, and it is highly recyclable. It makes complete sense to use aluminum over tin."

"I am glad to hear you say that, and Alcoa probably is too."

"So, how are my animals?" Ben asked to change the subject.

"They appear fine. Although, I am concerned about the feral cats in your barn."

"You are a vet aren't you?"

"Of course, you didn't think..."

"I didn't know what to think -- probably -- like you when you saw me sitting here."

"Do you want to explain?"

"It is kind of a long story."

"I had a good meal at your niece's place, and I was just about to head home. However, I've got time."

"Would you like some coffee?"

"Sure."

"We can take this into the kitchen," Ben said as he took off his hat.

I followed Ben into the kitchen where Ben poured us each a cup of coffee. I followed his lead and sat at the kitchen table. We both sat silent for an instant as Ben thought about where to begin.

"You're probably wondering about the hat and the plates," Ben eventually said after taking a sip of coffee.

"You could say that," I replied.

"I don't know how to begin without sounding crazy."

"That is a conundrum."

"Okay, so about three months ago, I went into the parlor there to get something. Out of nowhere, I hear this voice. It wasn't exactly a voice, but it sounded like a cry or a call. Like anyone, I just thought it was the wind or my mind playing tricks on me. I thought it was nothing, and I went on with what I was doing."

Ben took another sip of coffee, thought for a moment, and then continued.

"I did not hear the voice again, until I returned to the parlor. In fact, I became frightened of even entering the parlor for the thought of hearing the voice. I went for days avoiding the parlor, and I never heard any voices outside of the parlor.

"I searched the outside of the room for cracks and whatnot. I wanted to eliminate the wind at first. I caulked all of the cracks, and I even used a bug bomb. Thus, that would eliminate animals and insects playing tricks on me.

"As you may have guessed, the voice was not very distinct. I could not make out any words, but there was some sort of voice. I assumed it was trying to communicate with me."

"Did you think the room was haunted?" I asked.

"I never believed in ghosts, but this started to make me a believer. Thus, I went onto the internet for advice on 'exorcising' my poltergeist. In an effort to give the spirit rest, I started spending more time in the room; however, it had the opposite effect. The more time I spent in the room, the clearer the voice became. What started out to be sort of a 'hey' became more complicated. Also, the voice became more persistent and more frequent. Thus, it eventually became less of a disembodied sound and more of an actual voice."

"You do realize that all of this was happening in your head don't you?" I remarked.

"Yes. There was no physical person there, so I knew it was occurring all in my head. However, I wondered what it was and why it was only happening in the parlor. My curiosity was peeked, and therefore, I spent even more time in the parlor. What was at first a fear of the room became somewhat of an obsession."

"This is when you family first noticed you not leaving the house," I added.

"Unfortunately, that was a side-effect. I had to know what it wanted to say -- or do. Thus, I spent as much time as I could in the room. I ate in there and slept. I wanted to know what the voice had to say."

"What was that like?" I asked with great curiosity.

"It was like trying to tune in a station on a very touchy radio. Whatever it was would occasionally hit something, but would zoom right past. It was a very painstaking process and sometimes very frustrating. Primarily this was because I was not in control. Whoever had the remote would zoom right past whatever showed promise."

"So, do you think it was some sort of radio communication you were picking up?" I inquired.

"That is more of an analogy than actuality," replied Ben after taking another sip of coffee. "Our brains are complicated, and our brains give off varying brain-waves for lack of a better term. Thus, if someone was attempting to communicate with us via telepathy, they would have to tune into a particular brain pattern."

"Telepathy!" I exclaimed.

"It was the only conclusion I could make. Someone -- or something -- was studying my brain to communicate with me via telepathy. All I could do is go through a normal series of actions, and let -- whatever -- study how my particular brain operates. Thus, eventually the disembodied voice would actually be able to communicate."

"Communicate with you via telepathy?" I asked. "What is this -- some sort of science fiction story?"